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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Zoe Williams

I went to the seaside and left my husband at home, swimming in sewage

A Dyno-Rod worker heads down a drain looking for a blockage in the pipes. Dyno-Rod worker wearing orange overalls head first down a drain looking for a blockage in the pipes
‘No joke’ … a worker heads down a drain looking for a pipe blockage. Photograph: Keith Morris/Alamy

I had four teenagers all packed and ready to go to Ramsgate, and I was doing a quick final scout around the house for where the terrible smell was coming from. I love seeing a teenager with an overnight bag. You just know they’ve forgotten the real stuff (toothbrush, pants) and remembered the dumb stuff (crochet hooks, spare headphone case). And they look so proud and independent.

In fact, the smell was outside the house, a backed-up drain that had made a zen-looking but appallingly foul pond of the garden. Mr Z came back from work and identified this, just as we were all leaving. “Do you want me to stay?” I said, with a lot of heavy upwards inflection to indicate that no way on earth was I going to. “Well, yes,” he replied.

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