Once a month, every month, a black cloud casts a dark shadow over everything in Bethany’s life.
Like the sudden flick of a switch, her world becomes consumed by anxiety, despair and overwhelming sadness – completely out of the blue.
The feelings are so intense that Bethany feels like a completely different person. The random bouts of irritability make her fight with loved ones for no reason. She cries over the smallest things. She convinces herself no one likes her, her mind completely controlled by paranoia.
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After two long weeks, the fog disappears and Bethany is back to her old self. But there’s a catch – she only gets two weeks to recover from the emotional turmoil before it repeats itself all over again.
This unrelenting battle went on for years until Bethany finally put two and two together. She wasn’t anxious or depressed like all the doctors said. Bethany has PMDD.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is an extremely severe and disabling version of premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, known as period-related mood swings.
Though the conditions both have physical and emotional symptoms, PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt daily life in every way and damage relationships.
Symptoms usually begin seven to 10 days before a period starts and continue for the first few days of a period. Both PMDD and PMS may cause bloating, breast tenderness, fatigue and changes in sleep and eating habits.
But with PMDD, common emotional symptoms stand out, including sadness or hopelessness; anxiety or tension; extreme moodiness; marked irritability or anger.
PMDD is caused by a heightened sensitivity to hormones estrogen and progesterone, both of which spike during the week before menstruation.
A woman with PMDD is likely to experience feelings more akin to a major depressive episode, including feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, misery and even suicidal thoughts. Currently, there is no treatment in place.
Bethany, not her real name, finally received a diagnosis several years ago after reading up about PMDD online. The 37-year-old, from Stockport, then tried taking the contraceptive pill in a bid to ease her symptoms. Sadly, it seemed to only make her condition worse.
As her mental health spiralled, Bethany was forced to quit her job as a chef. She says he has not left her home since mid-September.
“I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, but to be honest I think I’ve had the condition since I was a teenager,” she told the Manchester Evening News.
“I hadn’t heard of PMDD and I didn’t know it existed. I began realising that in the weeks before my period, I was getting very anxious and the anxiety made me think, ‘What’s going on here?’
“Whenever I spoke to a GP, they put it down to depression or anxiety. They never took into consideration that it was getting worse before my period.”
As well as PMDD, Bethany also suffers from endometriosis, a long-term condition where the lining of the womb grows in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes. Symptoms of endometriosis include pain in the lower tummy or back, severe period pain and pain during or after sex.
In a desperate attempt to end her pain, Bethany tried using a copper coil, or the intrauterine device, a long-lasting, reversible contraception inserted into the womb.
But like the pill, the treatment only amplified her symptoms, leaving her in debilitating agony. “They told me to accept I have painful periods but I knew there was something wrong,” Bethany continued.
“I couldn’t sleep at night because of the pain. My panic attacks were even worse, they weren’t panic attacks as we know them – they were going on for hours.”
Bethany says she has now developed agoraphobia as she continues to struggle with PMDD. Agoraphobia is an extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home or of being in places from which escape is difficult.
“I can’t get out of the house,” she added. “I get super anxious but now I acknowledge it. I never acknowledged it before and now I know exactly the day when symptoms will start.
“For those two weeks, the anxiety and depression kicks in. The worst thing for me is brain fog. It’s scary because sometimes you can’t even speak. You can’t even form a sentence.
“It can be draining. I’ve never had issues with memory or forgetting things so it scares me personally. I also avoid seeing friends and getting into social situations. It goes from 0 to 100.
“I don’t think I even get a chance to relax in the two weeks after my period because you know it’s coming back and you know it’s going to happen. It’s like being in an abusive relationship with yourself and not somebody else.
“I thought either I was going completely crazy or it was something more sinister like a serious mental health issue. At least now, I know what’s going on with me, and I kind of know how to live my life instead of being in a constant state of panic and anxiety of what’s coming the next day.”
For help and advice for PMDD, visit the Mind website by clicking here.
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