I am a 37-year-old woman, engaged to my partner of six years. We are due to get married in September in an already pared-down wedding day (we cancelled our original plans when I realised how anxious and unhappy the idea of the “big day” was making me). Now, even though we have planned a small “big day” I am still feeling nervous.
I think I want to elope – an idea my fiance is very much on board with. What’s stopping me is the thought of my mum’s hurt and disappointment if she doesn’t get to see her one daughter get married. I have a complicated relationship with my mum which I have worked through in therapy and am now at peace with. However, as one of three children who have all “disappointed” her in some way, I feel I carry the responsibility to do this one thing for her. Earlier this year I told her I wasn’t going to have children – a hard decision and hard to tell her. Her disappointment was palpable. I feel by eloping I may be being selfish. Should I scrap my desire to elope to spare mum’s feelings?
