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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Annalisa Barbieri

I’ve spent 20 years treading water and fear that I’ve wasted so much time. Am I depressed?

An illustration of a man and a woman facing away from each other with their arms crossed

My wife and I are in our late 60s. The past 20 years have felt like treading water, as all my funds are tied up in a property that, for complex reasons, I am unable to sell. We are both creative. Over the past year or so I’ve made some improvements to our house, things that make people say wow. I enjoy seeing their pleasure, but their praise isn’t hugely important to me. In fact, I am somewhat reclusive. I do not enjoy being part of a wider community and I’m content with a handful of close friends.

Last year my father died, and after a period of despair, during which I found myself contemplating suicide (I did not share this with my wife), I turned first to Samaritans, then a therapist.

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