I’ve had to end many friendships over the years. How can I be more discerning upfront?

‘When you do have to move on, that needn’t mean you made a mistake: you tried a friendship, it didn’t work. Arguably better to try too many than too few.’ Painting: Francois Clouet, Le Billet Doux, c. 1570. Photograph: Artexplorer/Alamy

How does one really go about moderating and evaluating new friends? I have the opposite problem to most people, in that I attract new friendships very easily. People seem to gravitate towards me and, in some cases, insist they are my friend whether I like it or not! I am a professional woman, single with an international career. This seems to provide intrigue and excitement to new folks in my orbit, and they come on very strong and often try to grip on to me and my life. They mention a jealousy of my freedom and my achievements, and a desire to live out their own dreams through my existence.

None of these are romantic interests, but I have ended many of my friendships over the years due to inappropriate boundary crossings and folks trying to control my life and my choices. How can I be more discerning upfront and only let new people in whom I know will behave appropriately in the long term?