It is Valentine's Day morning, and I am wondering if I am going to live to see tomorrow's discounted chocolate. Not because I'm heartbroken, or planning a spectacular but risky romantic move, but because today I am learning to drive a bus. I am terrified.
Greater Manchester has a bus driver shortage, which will not surprise anyone who is a frequent passenger. As a result, Go North West are on a huge recruitment drive and are particularly interested in encouraging women to get behind the wheel - all of which has led to me being here today, sat in the driver's seat of a bus, ready to lurch my way into a brand new career for the morning.
Fewer than one in ten of Go North West's drivers are currently women - something managing director Nigel Featham tells me they are keen to change. He says shift work and perceptions around manoeuvring such a large vehicle are common barriers for women, but that bus driving is a career for 'anyone'.
I stare at the colossal vehicle in front of me and wonder whether any learner has managed to destroy a bus before.
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For someone who found learning to drive as stressful as me (think tears at roundabouts and a tendency to slow down to a sedate crawl when worried), the thought of manoeuvring a bus is alarming. Don't get me wrong, I can drive well enough now - but speeding around Greater Manchester in my little red hatchback seems somewhat more realistic than trundling along in an 11 tonne bus.
The team at Go North West were delightful, which almost made me feel even worse about the potential damage I was about to inflict upon their blue and yellow training bus. As we made our way to the grounds of the AJ Bell stadium, where I was to be set loose at the wheel, I spoke to Anne Leach, who has been a bus driver for 27 years.
"I love it. I would really recommend it," she said. "I always say, bus driving has been good to me and my family. Every day is different."
Anne said she has 'never felt intimidated' doing her job, and the rigorous training of the job means she always feels safe when at work. "It would be nice to have more women doing it," she added. "It's getting better, but it would be nice to have some more. It's a great job."
We arrive, and I am forced to drop the seat considerably, pull it closer to the wheel, and move the wheel down so that I can actually reach the pedals. It turns out that at 5ft I am not too short to drive a bus, which is a relief and leaves me with what I can only decribe as a dangerous sense of elation. I can do this! I can actually drive a bus! The world is now my oyster.
Watching my every move is Tim Clarke, a driving instructor who has been working with Go North West for ten years. By way of comfort, I tell myself that no matter how bad I am, Tim has probably seen worse. He is remarkably patient and calm for someone who might have to avert disaster at any second.
Tim talks me through the controls, patiently watching as I get my legs tangled around the pedals, confused by the fact I have never driven an automatic vehicle before. He shows me how to open and close the bus doors (which, let's face it, is exciting), and switch the bus between 'drive', 'neutral', and 'reverse'. There are only two pedals - stop, and go. Everything seems simple enough.
"Are you ready to go?" Tim asks me after about five minutes. I decide I have nothing to lose, and hit the gas.
The bus lurches forwards, and slowly, very slowly, I am doing it! I am driving a bus. I wonder what my driving instructor would think if he could see me. Truthfully, I imagine he'd probably be hiding somewhere far, far, away. But little does it matter, because Tim is now teaching me how to turn, and I am making figure-of-eights around some lampposts, and I am no longer scared. Actually, I am smiling. This is fun.
Turns out, I'm actually not that bad at driving a bus. I even manage to reverse it into the makeshift cone garage the instructors set up for me. I feel chuffed and slightly vindicated, because if I can do it, anybody can.
And anybody actually can. If you think bus driving might be for you, Go North West say you are welcome to come and try it exactly the way I have today. It's a skilled job, but one that Nigel says it 'doable' for everyone, with drivers given comprehensive four-week training before they are entered for their test.
Nigel says it is an 'exciting' time for transport in the region, as Andy Burnham's vision for an integrated transport network - known as the Bee Network - takes shape. Go North West have already won contracts in Bolton and Wigan, and are building their employee base in anticipation of the new structure.
Amazingly enough, I lived to tell the tale of my bus driving experience. And I feel confident that in the safe hands of Tim, Rob, and the rest of the team at Go North West, you would too. Turns out driving a bus is like most other things in life - less scary than it looks.
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