‘Weirdly, I came back in better shape. It was like a reset’
Nekoda Smythe-Davis is a Commonwealth gold medal-winning judoka (judo expert) who has won silver and bronze at the World Championships and represented Great Britain at the 2016 Olympics.
Being an athlete mum feels like the hardest job in the world. It is such a juggle; a balancing act. You feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends and you are trying to give 100% to two different areas – in some ways you are splitting yourself in two – but it is rewarding when you get it right. And all the sacrifices that I make will set us up for life if things pan out the way I want them to.
I’ve always had a nurturing side. When you speak to any of my teammates, I was the mother of the group, even before I had Ryia. Being around very strong, independent women – my mum and my judo coach, Jo Crowley, who has four kids – has definitely driven that.
I always knew that after Rio I would work towards Tokyo, then probably retire and have kids. But things didn’t go to plan. The Olympics didn’t happen in 2020; the pandemic happened. Alongside that, I was nursing a concussion injury. When the Games were rescheduled for 2021, I made the decision that I was going to stop pushing towards them. I decided to focus on my health and had a conversation with my partner about wanting to start a family. I got pregnant straight away.
I knew that birth can be tough on the body, and wanted to make sure I had the stamina for it. Training while pregnant kept me grounded and gave me a goal. I tried to prepare for the birth as if it were a mini Olympics. At the end of that day, I was definitely going to have my prize.
I don’t feel like the same me that I was before I had kids. The way my body looks and feels is completely different. It is like you go through a process of remoulding and reshaping and turning into a brand new athlete. I’m quite small, and Ryia was quite a big baby and the way I stretched and carried her altered my body. Then breastfeeding for months changed everything. But weirdly, I came back in better shape – my body fat was lower, I felt healthier – it was like hitting the reset button. I’m turning my body into the athlete that I want it to be.
Being away from her is tough. I can do a maximum of a week and then it’s too much. I did two weeks when I went to Japan to train and I didn’t enjoy it. When I’m training it’s fine, but weekends and rest days are hard as I would normally be with her. She takes it like an absolute champ. I think she is secure in knowing that I will be coming back. And I always say she has five parents: three grandparents and two biological parents. She is so well looked after, whether I’m there or not, as much as she misses me. But she takes it in her stride.
After I had Ryia, the English Institute of Sport got in touch and said there were a few other women who were pregnant or had just had kids, and suggested it would be nice for us to get together in a WhatsApp group and have a place to talk. Now we have about 15 members. When you are at stickier points, there are other people you can lean on and vent to. It is so helpful, having somewhere you can say, “I’m trying this”, or “This isn’t working”, because so much of motherhood is trial and error.
Even if I don’t win an Olympic medal, there will still be this amazing story at the end. There are so many lessons in the courage it takes, and showing my daughter that you can do anything you put your mind to. I think when she’s older, she’ll look back and be proud.
‘My coach Linford Christie has been a diamond. He is the best babysitter’
Bianca Williams is a European and Commonwealth 4x100m gold medallist. This will be her first time competing in the Olympics.
ZL was born two days before the first lockdown. It was hard not being able to see anyone, but we also didn’t have people in our ear saying: “You need to hold him like this,” or anything like that. We just did what we thought was right. It would have been great having family over to give me a bit of a break, though.
Pregnancy and birth changed my body a lot. I was quite lucky, because I was still able to go to the gym until a couple of days before having him. I felt really strong. And then when I had him, I got home and it was as if my body had just turned into mush. I had cellulite, which I’d never had before. It was so weird for me because I’m used to having a fit and toned body.
I started training six weeks after the birth, doing low-level drills. I messaged Allyson Felix and Jessica Ennis-Hill asking for their advice on getting back into training and exercises for diastasis recti [ab separation, a common effect of pregnancy]. I had no idea what I was going to do or how my body was going to feel. It is so rare that you see a woman have a baby and return to elite sport and run fantastically well. It has taken me ages to come back, I think because I didn’t get any extra help in lockdown: I had to talk to the physiotherapist over the phone, which isn’t the same. I’ve had hip issues for years, but pregnancy and breastfeeding made it worse. It was painful to run.
It is hard having a male coach, in terms of them really understanding, because women are maternal beings, whereas men aren’t. I feel like it is hard to say certain things to my coach [Linford Christie]. He gets it, but he doesn’t get it. He has been an absolute diamond when it comes to ZL. He is the best babysitter. Even when ZL was small he would always look after and play with him.
My partner [Portuguese sprinter Ricardo dos Santos] is an athlete, too, and luckily we train together. ZL goes to nursery but whenever he is on holiday he comes to the track with us, which he loves. Although we absolutely love our son, the Olympics is just so important to us as well. And we want to give ourselves the best chance for training and recovery. In January, we all went to South Africa on training camp, which was brilliant: a nice family getaway. But it’s crunch time now. We both want to compete, and we have to do what we need to make that happen.
ZL is very sporty already. If we haven’t created the next Olympic champion then we’ve done something wrong!
‘Before, I had triple the sleep, triple the recovery time and didn’t eat leftover fish fingers’
Helen Glover is ranked the No 1 female rower in the world and a two-time Olympic champion.
There is a lot of talk about the importance for parents to fill their own cups first; to be the best version of themselves, because it makes them a happier, better parent. That is definitely something that being an athlete does for me. It makes me feel as if I have a certain level of contentment outside my family, which allows me to step into family life feeling calm and appreciating what I have.
After Rio, my pairs partner retired and I was getting married, so I never really considered carrying on competing. I didn’t feel “done”, but I was satisfied with my career, and I was excited to start a family.
Life is more compartmentalised now I’m a mother: the version of me who walks through the door at home is very different from the version who walks through the training centre doors. Having both makes me present and passionate when I’m training but it also allows a lot more of a switch-off when I’m not.
Sport is a reflection of the wider society; role modelling what we can achieve after having children is really important – but we need to discuss how hard it is to make it work: childcare challenges and the tug between being at home with the children and being in training. Not just within sport but in all areas of life, it needs to be possible for anyone who does want to return to work to be given the best chance to do so.
Having kids hardens you in many ways. Being on a training programme, even if you only get three or four hours’ sleep some nights, you still get up and do it. Before kids, I had triple the sleep, triple the recovery time, and was not eating leftover fish fingers for dinner. But another thing it changes is your perspective: winning and sport was my entire world, now it is just one small part of it – and not the most important part. It really highlights that this is a choice – I have made the choice to do it, so I’m going to try to do as well as I can.
Having children is definitely harder than training. Childbirth is going to happen and you can’t stop it, whereas when you’re rowing, you can stop at any stroke. But having a family and constantly worrying and checking in on them just never finishes. Even on training camp, all I’m thinking about is what the kids will be doing and have they got their water bottle and so on.
The kids will come to watch Paris, which will be really special. There is a part of me that always tries to make these big events feel normal, so I don’t get too nervous. But having them there at the finish line means that whatever the result, you’ve just got this lovely thing to look forward to. No matter how I do, in their eyes I’m just their mum, and that is quite comforting.
‘When times are tough on the water, I think about Noah. He is my biggest motivator’
Lauren Rowles is a Paralympic rowing gold medallist; her partner Jude Hamer is a wheelchair basketball player who represented Great Britain at the 2012, 2016 and 2021 Paralympic Games.
Lauren Rowles Noah is the best distraction in the world. When I’m out on the water and times are tough, I think about him. He is my biggest motivator.
He has already changed us massively. Being a parent is the most selfless thing you can do. Whatever you’ve got going on, you’ve got to put it aside for your child’s needs. That is the complete opposite of being a high-performance athlete, where you are selfish; you put yourself and your performance first.
Jude and I work as a team. I guess the beauty of us both doing a team sport is that we know how to communicate effectively and work under pressure. There is so much from the world of sport that relates to parenting, such as the skills we have as athletes to persevere: sometimes I get home from a hard day of training and have to bounce him around to soothe him – you’ve got to have that physical endurance. As athletes, we’re quite analytical, constantly thinking about what we can do to help him with his development.
I have such an appreciation now for the mums that come back and compete on the world stage. I don’t class myself within this because I’m not the one that birthed Noah. You’ve got to have another level of determination. Female athletes can now claim maternity pay [since 2021] – we wouldn’t have been able to go through this process without that. I’d love to see a paternity policy for non-birthing partners, as there currently isn’t anything. My coach has been amazing, but not everybody gets the same treatment. And for us as a same-sex couple, making sure that the language is right (not all parents are a mum and dad), and that there is equality, is really important.
Jude Hamer I made the decision to take a step back from sport to try for a baby. For me, this is one of the biggest and best things I’ve ever done. I will get to play basketball again, but I would have massively regretted not getting the chance to have him and to experience pregnancy.
I stopped playing basketball as soon as I found out I was pregnant, because it is a contact sport. I really miss playing and can’t wait to go back when he’s big enough for me to leave him. I would love for him to play a team sport. It’s something that I didn’t get to do as a child because of my disability and I think it teaches kids so much about the world and interacting with people.
Two of my teammates had babies last year, so I’m really fortunate to be in a sport that knows how to support an athlete mother. It is expected that you can do it all if you want to. And to have a partner like Lauren, who will support me going back when I’m ready, is great. That is what makes us work so well: we give each other the time and space to do what we need to do. This is Lauren’s time to go off and do what’s not been done before in rowing, and then I’ll have my time in my sport afterwards.
It will be a bit strange to be a spectator at the Games and not be a part of it. I’ve never watched Lauren compete, so it will be very special to take Noah to watch and be at our first race together.
‘I was early back in the saddle. Madness. My daughter watched me compete at nine weeks old’
Charlotte Dujardin is a triple Olympic gold medallist dressage rider and holds all three world records in dressage.
I always knew that I wanted Isabella to be a part of my professional journey. She came to her first competition at about nine weeks old. I was really early back in the saddle – it was total madness. I didn’t plan to do it that way at all. I pretty much wrote off last year thinking that, as a first-time mum, I didn’t know how anything was going to go. To be honest, it’s not something that people speak of, especially in my industry. You see kids about, but you’ve got to be very careful because it can be dangerous if they are running around or making noise that upsets the horses.
I had the most amazing pregnancy, I wasn’t sick or ill. I rode until I was eight months pregnant but had to stop competing at six months. Having a caesarean section wasn’t something I had planned. My recovery was the hardest part. We had four dogs, and a newborn baby, and I couldn’t do anything. I remember putting my foot in the stirrups for the first time and trying to get myself up – I could feel the difference in my stomach. So I had to listen to my body. But by six weeks, I was sitting on a horse playing around. And I was like: “Yes, I’ve still got it, I can ride!”
I am a very ambitious person, and I think it is easy to get wrapped up in the whole competitive side of things, which doesn’t always go your way and can be upsetting. Whereas now, having Isabella, I’m like: “Oh well, there’s always another day, I’ve still got my family to go home to.” It’s really made me realise what is important in life. Competing is just a game. Real life is spending time watching your baby grow and change, start crawling and rolling over. At every stage, I’ve not wanted to miss any of it, so it has been really important that she’s been able to come with me if I’m away. I feel blessed that she is a good sleeper.
I always dreamed that Valegro, the horse I won 2012 and Rio on, would one day meet my baby. When he did, it was very emotional. I started riding very young; I was fearless. Now I’m a parent it’s quite nerve-racking, because horses are animals, after all, and things happen very fast.
Isabella loves horses. It scares me how natural she is with them; but then she was bouncing around in my tummy when I rode for quite a while. At eight months old, she started clicking at them because she had heard me do it. I’m not going to be one of those mothers that pushes her to ride. If she likes it, then it would be amazing to support her. But if she finds an interest in something else, I’d love to follow her with that as well.
‘I’ve never been able to take part in school sports day in case I twist my ankle’
Charley Davison won the England boxing national championship in 2019 and represented Great Britain at the Tokyo Olympics.
Back when I started, I’d never heard of mums being full-time athletes. Being a mum is a big job in itself. I was boxing from the age of eight then stopped at 19 when I had the kids. In 2018, I went back to my local club to get the weight down; it was just a hobby at first. When my coach said: “Do you want to come back and give it a go again?”, I thought: “I can’t do this, I’m a mum.” But to know there are a wider range of mums and parents doing sport after having kids is brilliant, especially for the younger generation to see when you’ve got children you can achieve your dreams. There are always ways.
My partner gave up his career, because he needs to be at home with the children. I am away every week from Monday to Thursday for training in Sheffield. We have got used to the routine and make it work. Video calls are a lifesaver. It is a lot easier now the kids are getting older: they use our old phones, so I can keep in contact with them. We try to do as much as we can when I am home. At times, it can be hard. When I want to relax on the sofa I get mum-guilt because I know I am going away soon. I left for training camp on my son’s birthday, so we had to celebrate early.
To be able to leave the children for training, you’ve got to be strong-minded, and in boxing, you’ve got to be strong-minded. I think that has helped me massively to progress as quickly as I have. The kids love what I do and find it fascinating. They come to the gym with me when I’m training at home and video me or join in. They do eat sweets and chocolate; I do as well, I’m not perfect. But I’m fit, I’m healthy, I’m going to be able to keep up with what they want to do. Though I’ve never been able to take part in sports day, in case I twist my ankle.
The kids understand I’m at Olympic level, and that is the norm for them. They haven’t watched me fight in person, only on YouTube. I will bring the older two along to Paris. Having them there shouting my name is going to be unbelievable. To win a medal would be a dream come true after all these years of sacrifice and hard work.
‘When I was pregnant, I never imagined I’d be going on for three more Paralympics’
Sarah Storey is a cyclist and swimmer with a total of 28 Paralympic medals (including 17 gold), making her the most successful British Paralympian of all time.
There was no doubt after I came back from Tokyo that Charlie wanted to come to the next Games, rather than have me disappear, as I did for that one. There had been no option for family to be in Tokyo because of the rules around Covid. I was still breastfeeding, but he was three so I didn’t have to pump, it was just for comfort and bedtimes. Remarkably it still worked when I got home.
I’d always assumed that you had children after you’d finished competing: your body is your tool and there was an element of the unknown. My husband Barney [Storey, a former Paralympic cyclist] and I didn’t even talk about starting a family until after we’d both competed in London. You always dream that you will win gold at a home Games – we both did that. So there was no pressure to have a comeback: this was an opportunity to see what might happen.
As it happened, Barney’s international career ended at the same time as Louisa was born. Barney has always been the number one person for liaising with my coaching team, so it was really important he was there – just now with an extra person. For us, it was about making sure I could focus on performance first and still be a mum 24/7.
When you are a mum, you worry about a lot less stuff as an athlete, because you have another person to keep alive. It also gives you a different perspective, because they are getting to witness your work ethic and the dedication that is needed. It is ingrained in them. You hear them talk about what they want to do, their ambitions, and they know that the world is their oyster. It gives me goosebumps thinking what they would have missed out on being exposed to if I’d chosen to stop competing.
Charlie really enjoys bike-racing and Louisa has competed internationally in dance. Like most parents, sometimes I can’t be there to watch them because of work, but they are both quite philosophical about it. I have to take myself off to race without Barney now because he has to be here to do their logistics. I’m off in our motorhome for most of the season, which was a bit scary to start with, because I’m not the best mechanic. I recognise that I’m constantly working or training or racing, and just being able to do something that’s not related to any of that, as a family, would be really nice at some point. I don’t know if I will get the chance before the Games.
When I went into Louisa’s school after Tokyo, she was very protective of my medals, making sure they were being handled appropriately. When I was pregnant with her, I never imagined that I’d be going on for three more Games after that. I feel proud that I’m giving my ninth a go. Hopefully everything will fall into place.
