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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Sofie Hagen

I thought I had seen the worst of online abuse – then I posted about my dog

Three dogs tied up in their leads
‘His retractable lead failed at the same time as he spotted a squirrel, tying a couple together.’ Photograph: maodesign/Getty Images (posed by models)

I thought I had already experienced the worst internet abuse – until I posted online about my dog, Hank. I had been wondering if I should take him to the vet, after finding some scary-looking lumps on his chest.

When I got Hank, I thought I was vigorously prepared. I had done all the research, bought all the gear, hired a trainer, forked out for pet insurance and found a great vet. I had every intention of being the best dog owner ever. I was ready.

What I was not prepared for was the pressure from other dog owners to never make mistakes.

On one level, this is a good thing: I want people to have high standards for pet owners. Animals should be treated well. However, if I wanted constantly to be made to feel like I’m not good enough, I would still be living at home.

When Hank shat all over a hotel staircase, the stench wasn’t nearly as bad as the looks that people gave me, glaring as if I had kept him in my room for days, feeding him onions and chocolate, just to make him defecate and ruin everyone’s visit to the breakfast buffet.

I got the same reaction when his retractable dog lead failed at the same time as he spotted a squirrel and he circled a couple holding hands (twice), tying them together. Onlookers might have been less judgmental if I had just told them that I had trained him to kidnap couples. “Those leads are dangerous!” a woman hissed.

When I posted in a Facebook group, asking for advice about the scary-looking lumps, I was inundated with vile comments. Apparently, I don’t deserve to care for a dog – or even be alive – if I don’t know that boy dogs also have nipples.

• Sofie Hagen is a writer and comedian

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