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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
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Tara Judah

I stopped chasing the Hollywood vision of female friendship – and embraced the person I am

A still from the Sex and the City TV series.
‘These are the kind of friends you can rely on to get you through the hard times – you laugh, they laugh; you cry, they cry.’ A still from the Sex and the City TV series. Photograph: HBO

According to cinema and television, women are constantly forming incredible female friendships. From Steel Magnolias to Bridesmaids, Sex and the City to The Golden Girls, these are the kind of friends you can rely on to get you through the hard times – you laugh, they laugh; you cry, they cry. The only thing you have to figure out is: are you a) the clever one, b) the sexy one or c) the funny one?

And yet, for years I had been searching for my own tribe, to no avail. I met every new opportunity with openness and enthusiasm, sure that my forever best friends were out there somewhere if I just looked hard enough. My search was just taking a little longer, I told myself. Even Thelma had Louise. It was only as I reached my mid-40s that I realised that might never happen.

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