After months as an in-patient receiving treatment for her eating disorder, the last thing Jac Reaveley expected was to be confronted by calories "everywhere" after her release from hospital.
But - after the Government mandated calorie counts on many food and drink menus - that's exactly what she and many other survivors of illnesses such as anorexia found last year. For Jac, a Whitley Bay mum who works at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, she fears the change has made her recovery "far harder than otherwise".
She explained that shortly after returning home from hospital, an innocuous trip to the cinema turned hazardous - when she spotted that calorific values were listed on the menu, even for items like popcorn.
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"I was in hospital for about twelve months in total," she said. "And when you are in hospital they take away the packaging so you can't look at the calories. It's a focus on food being food. Outside, there's not that option."
Jac explained how a trip to the cinema became incredibly difficult. She said: "The first thing I saw was a calorie count on some popcorn. All of those thoughts came back and I went into the pictures without anything.
"All of those little thoughts and tricks about counting calories were back to the forefront of my mind. Without this, I would have found continuing with my recovery much easier."
As for the Government's decision-making, she added: "They think they are doing the best thing for one group of people, but they're not for another. For us it's so detrimental. This isn't a lifestyle choice. It's classed as a disability - and support for us has been taken away. This is never a choice, it's something that takes over your mind."
Jac and others in her position are urging cafes and restaurants to have people with eating disorders in mind and to have alternative menus easily accessible - however, even that isn't a complete solution, as having to identify yourself as someone who might want an alternative menu can be stigmatising. She added: "That's me having to walk in and highlight my disability. In short I have to expose my health conditions to someone I don't know."
While only large businesses are forced to show calorie counts, some smaller ones have done so to since the regulations changed.
Speaking about how difficult the festive period could be for these triggers, Jac added that everything from adverts to shopping and trips to the café were a "constant reminder of the struggles I have developed around food".
Similarly a young woman, who wished not to use her name, added: "If I see calories counted, it takes me back to being scared.
"I wanted to go to the pub with my friends. Sadly, I hadn't realised what would happen - the menus hadn't used to have calories on. It was a new thing, something I wasn't prepared for and wasn't expecting. I just couldn't do it, was thinking 'I can't eat here.' I left my friends and couldn't stay.
"That shouldn't have to happen. Without that happening I would have been more able to eat to make myself happy - which is the most frustrating thing. I see numbers before I see food."
She added her call for their to be alternative menus, saying: "Eating disorders are very serious illnesses; anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. If café and restaurant owners take this small action, it will make a big difference to a lot of people’s recovery."
"And we also want to remind people that it’s ok to be brave and ask if you need help. If you can, see if a friend can phone ahead to check what’s available, or can read the menu out to you. There’s no shame in doing that if you need to."
When the measure was introduced, a Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson said: "Clear food labelling plays an important role in helping people make healthier choices for themselves and their families.
“We are all used to seeing nutritional information on products sold in supermarkets, and displaying calorie information on menus can help us consume fewer calories when eating out or getting a takeaway. The regulations will also allow businesses to provide menus without calorie information at the request of the customer."
They said this was in the context of obesity being one of the UK's biggest public health challenges. Eating disorder charity Beat offers information and support for anyone who may be struggling with this aspect of their mental health.
Eating disorder charity Beat offers information and support for anyone who may be struggling.
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