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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I saw a message saying ‘Morning Sweetpea xx’ on my partner’s phone. Should I get past this?

Francesco Hayez, Secret Accusation, 1847-1848
‘There are all kinds of open conversations you could have … but these are not yours to figure out alone.’ Painting: Secret Accusation (1847-1848) by Francesco Hayez Photograph: Heritage Image Partnership Ltd/Alamy

My partner has been emailing and having phone conversations with a former female friend. She contacted him (which he told me about at the time) and they’ve been emailing daily since – he did not divulge their continued correspondence. I found out because I glanced down at his phone whilst we were in bed a couple of weeks ago and saw a message saying “Morning Sweetpea xx” from her to him.

We have had difficult times in the past with him lying and having “private” conversations with former girlfriends, colleagues etc, but only the night before he’d said how lovely it was to be able to be honest and open and have nothing hidden, and it was the first time he’d been in that position in a relationship.

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