A mum has been shamed for making her teenage daughters wear dresses when visiting their 'old-fashioned' grandparents. She explained how it's easier to make them wear 'girly clothes' than deal with the backlash when they show up to their house in trousers.
Taking to Reddit, she said: "My in-laws are what you would call traditional - they are very old fashioned. They seem to think the world should have stopped 50 years ago, and think everything since then is evil."
She went on to explain how she visits her in-laws on a weekly basis with her husband, their two daughter, aged 16, 14, and son, 10, because they live close by. But her eldest daughter has started resenting her grandparents for their "backwards" view on the world - and has vowed to "never speak to them again" after she turns 18.
"They don't like the idea of women wearing trousers," she added, "My mother-in-law says it's 'showing off' and my father-in-law always says it isn't Christian.
"I'm pretty feminine, so I don't mind throwing on a dress when we stop by, but our daughters are not.
"They don't like visiting my husband's parents, which breaks his heart, because we make them put on a dress before they go.
"They are both pretty tomboy-ish, and they never wear any dresses otherwise. I had to buy each of them a few dresses specifically so they can go.
"It's not like they aren't allowed over if they wear trousers, it's just that they [their grandparents] won't shut up the entire time about how much they hate it."
While she agrees wants her daughters to feel comfortable in their clothing, she admits it's easier to stick them in dresses than listen to her in-laws complain.
She said: "In a lot of cultures women only wear skirts and dresses so I don't think it's a big deal. It isn't like it hurts them to wear a dress a few times a week for a few hours."
Commenting on her post, one user said: "I know it seems like it's just easier to get them to wear a dress, but it’s sending them the message that their feelings and comfort aren’t as important as other people's.
"Their grandparents should love them for them, not if they wear what they consider to be appropriate clothing.
"It’s not 1950 anymore. The grandparents need to accept things are different and you need to support your kids."
Another user added: "You’re teaching them their comfort doesn’t matter and it’s their responsibility to cater to how other people think they should dress and act. It’s misogynistic and gross. Stop it."
A third user said: "Your daughters will learn body autonomy from you, one way or another.
"They will either learn that their clothing is to be chosen for the whims and approval of others, or that they have the freedom to express their individual desires and preferences.
"It is very telling that it's the girls whose clothing is being dictated, and not their brother. Think about that, take all the time you need.
"As their parent, your only responsibility here is to support your daughters, and stand up for them against their grandparents."
Do you have a story to share? Email paige.freshwater@reachplc.com.
