A mum has sparked debate online, saying she wants to go on holiday without her step-daughter. And the mum is keen to press on with the idea - despite knowing it'll likely upset the little girl.
The new mum, who has a new baby with her partner, is keen to take advantage of cheap travel options. It would mean leaving behind her partner's eight-year-old daughter, who he had during a previous relationship, the Mirror Online reports.
But parents struggled to decide if she was acting reasonably, when she turned to Mumsnet for advice. In a post on the website, the mum explained she doesn't want the schoolgirl to come along for several reasons, including cost and convenience.
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She wrote: "I'm only going to have one maternity year, my baby is only going to be free (in terms of cost) to take on holiday for so long. We can't afford to take the daughter away as well, it's around an additional £500/£700 pound, especially as we'll have to do school holidays."
"I only get this one chance, it's my money, I want a stress-free holiday and entertaining an 8 year old who is bored all the time is not my idea of stress free," the parent added.
However, she has reason to believe the decision will upset her stepdaughter. "His ex has already had an issue with us when she THOUGHT we were going on holiday without her daughter and telling us that the daughter was extremely upset etc," the mum wrote.
"We have no idea where the idea came from as we hadn't even spoken or contemplated holidays at this point." To make matters worse, it doesn't sound like the woman and her partner are on the same page about the subject.
The stepmum wrote: "Since that conversation, I have said to my partner that sometimes that may happen. I grew up with stepdads who had kids and they didn't come on holiday with us so to me it’s normal.
"Plus what if we can't afford to take both on holiday in the future? Does that mean my child then can't have a holiday in case of upsetting the other child? Even though the other child has a well-off mother so will be holidaying plenty."
While her partner agreed at the time, they've since had differing conversations. "I'm sure he thinks I've forgotten about the conversation as he's now constantly mentioning his daughter in our holiday discussions, has told his daughter that we're trying to plan a summer holiday all together so now she is excited."
But the mum, who is paying for the holiday out of her savings, doesn't want to give in this time, though she insists her stepdaughter 'will come on some holidays with us for definite'.
"I feel like such a b***h trying to push this conversation my way but I feel like I’m being reasonable," the Mumsnet user wrote before she later added: "I might just go on holiday on my own with our son at this point."
Unfortunately, fellow parents on the website struggled to agree as to what the mum should do. "Your partner is out of order spending your savings on a holiday for his daughter," thought one commenter.
A second suggested: "I would suggest that if he wants her to come that he pays for her to come and pays the additional for having to go in school holidays."
Meanwhile, someone wrote: "Yep should be able to go without her. It's totally daft to suggest otherwise! I've spent my life in the position of your step daughter and have never felt that they shouldn't go away without me, I used to have my yearly holiday with my mum's family instead."
But another replied: "I am sorry but I don't agree with you. I understand why you want to go away just the 3 of you, but the child's feelings must take priority."
A second agreed: "If you want your step daughter to feel pushed out, go ahead. Your husband has two children, not one."
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