The decision of whether or not to have children is a difficult one, especially given that parenthood will often mean prioritising your kids above everything else in your life. One woman in her 30s fears that it's impossible for parents to maintain good relationships with their significant others post-children, and doesn't want to risk losing the "lovely life" she shares with her husband.
The woman says she's been "chronically on the fence about having children" for some time. She's been with her husband for 12 years and is happy with the life they already lead, which is filled with holidays, dinners out, and fantastic career opportunities.
She has since come to understand that her parents' relationship has affected her stance on this. After enjoying plenty of fun and parties pre-children, everything appeared to change when her mum gave birth to her at the age of 37.
Airing her thoughts on Mumsnet, the conflicted woman, who remains anonymous, explained: "My mum threw herself into motherhood, it was her life's ambition, she was a fantastic mother. But her relationship with my dad suffered as a result and especially in my teens in hindsight it was a bit me and her versus him.
"I've realised that, subconsciously, I've always felt that to have children you have to sacrifice a degree of happiness in your relationship with your partner. And - given I don't know my potential child(ren) - it's felt like an impossible decision to give up how good things are with my husband in exchange for that?"
When it comes to her friendship group, she's seen some pals' marriages suffer once children came along, leading her to wonder what others thought about this tricky topic.
Some fellow Mumsnet users could understand her concerns completely, with one person writing: "My husband and I have found that our relationship has suffered due to the challenges of having young children, but we have worked on our relationship and I feel that if we can survive this, we can survive anything."
Others, however, claimed their relationships were stronger than ever after becoming parents, with another commenting: "Our relationship has never been stronger. Having supportive and helpful parents has helped so we have time away together and frequent date nights. Wouldn't change anything."
Offering some words of wisdom, a third person advised: "I don't think it necessarily means the beginning of an endless struggle to be a contented couple.
"You need to ensure you have enough support in various ways. Also, you need to make a conscious effort to work on your relationship, so you don't get into a rut taking each other for granted."
Do you have a story about living childfree? Email us at julia.banim@reachplc.com
