I know we're not meant to sweat the small stuff. But I'm going to have a good go at it.
I mean, it's the small stuff that is the actual stuff of life. It's what we confront every day. And once I exorcise the demons of the small stuff, by listing them all in minute detail, I can then focus on meditating and kum ba yah-ing and finding my zen.
Yeah, right. Anyhoo, these are the things annoying me at the moment:
The carparks at Officeworks, Pet Barn and BCF at Tuggeranong
They're too narrow.
Not sure if this is an industry-wide standard for these three mega-shops but holey toledo, these ones seem to have been based on some smart car dimensions.
Have you ever not seen someone have to squeeze out of their vehicle after parking - so they don't scrape their neighbour's car - like some contortionist getting out of a teeny, tiny box?
Annoying.
Paper straws
Ban them. Ban them now.
They get soggy halfway through your drink and then it's just a case of sucking up a combination of liquid and pulpy cardboard.
Useless.
Plastic bags for fruit and veg were banned in Coles supermarkets in Canberra last week and I'm actually fine with that. The universe did not collapse in on itself.
Bananas do not need a plastic bag, people. Nor do most other fruit. Although bring a bag for the snow peas. That may get messy.
And now, the ACT government is talking about banning things like single-use plastic takeaway containers. Again, no probs. I might get some cupboard space back.
But please, for the love of god, bring back the plastic straws.
Pens that don't work
Well, didn't all the smarty pants who live on Twitter et al get very, very excited when King Charles III got a bit miffed when his pen didn't work?
I SEE YOU CHARLES.
I am going to refer to the incident henceforth as Fountain Pen-Gate (apologies to Kath and Kim).
Prince Charles was last week signing a visitors book at some Irish castle when the fountain pen started leaking.
His reaction went viral.
"Oh god I hate this," he said, handing the pen to Camilla, the Queen Consort.
"Oh look, it's going everywhere, hang on," Camilla replied, obviously looking for a hanky, or spare corgi, to wipe away the ink.
"I can't bear this bloody thing ... every stinking time," the King said, walking away.
I get it, Charles. Every. Stinking. Time.
It is not too much to give the King a pen that works?
And to everyone having conniptions when Charles entered the wrong date into the book, he was signing a visitors book, not a nuclear treaty.
Man, when I have to write the date, I'm lucky to remember what year it is. It still feels a bit 2020 to me.
And, quite seriously, was there anyone on the planet under as much stress and scrutiny as the new King Charles last week?
Give him a break. And a BIC 4 Colour Retractable ballpoint. At least one of the colours works. Some of the time.
Blue sausages
Did no one consider the optics of a blue raw sausage?
Some crazy butcher (are there any other kind?) in The Shire created the Up Up Cronulla Sausage in a fetching blue to get behind the Sharks in the NRL finals.
They really did look like a bunch of dead ... well, I won't go there.
On the other hand, Wanniassa icon the Vina Bakery brought out its green meat pies to support the Raiders in their finals' tilt.
Now that's all class.
And not annoying at all.
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