Who knows best when it comes to rearing children? Is it parents or grandparents? The thorny issue has reared its head on Mumsnet following a post from a mum who seriously risks falling out with her parents over car seats.
The unnamed mum asked the forum their opinion on rear-facing versus forward-facing car seats for toddlers. It is proving to be a sticking point on the domestic front as her strong views are being met with equally strong ones from her parents. The argument has got so heated that she is now considering cutting her parents out altogether and banning them from babysitting.
"Would I be unreasonable to tell my parents they can’t take my daughter out if they’re going to forward face her?," the woman asked.
"My daughter is 3.5 and been rear-facing since birth and still is. Her rear-facing car seat goes up to 25kg and she’s only 14kg, so I plan on keeping her in it for the foreseeable."
Her parents see differently however, and are putting the pressure on.
" My parents have mentioned forward-facing her loads of times. They keep saying they’re going to buy her a booster seat, I asked why and what’s wrong with the car seat we got them and they say her legs are too long and she looks uncomfortable in it.
"They also mention that she’s quite badly car sick and forward facing would help it. She DOES get car sick but I’m not sure whether FF would do anything and tbh I’d rather she was sick but was safer than not sick but less safe!
"They even say they know it’s safer to RF! Yet are still constantly mentioning FF. When I try and show them studies, car seat safety tests, even news articles etc they just laugh and tell me to stop Googling stuff and they did it with me and I survived blah blah. Really bl**dy frustrating."
At loggerheads, they eventually came to blows over the issue.
"I lost my temper and flat out told them she was going to continue RF and if they couldn’t respect that they weren’t taking her out in their car. They can still see her of course, just not actually take her anywhere in the car if they’re going to FF."
Grandmother was not happy and now mum is wondering if her uncompromising stance was the right thing to do: "Mum has now called me ridiculous and isn’t talking to me. She says I’m ‘over the top’ with safety and need to relax a bit. I think she’s being ridiculous, but I don’t know if I was a little harsh."
Most Mumsnet comments were baffled why she chose to fall out with her parents over this.
Typical of many comments was this one: "You're being a bit over the top but your child your rules. Don't come whining to everyone when they don't want to see her as much though."
Similarly another said: "If you want to be fighting with your parents over this then carry on. Seems a shame."
Others could see her point, but not why she was holding onto it: "You’re being OTT, but as she’s your kid so your rules apply."
"Absolutely ridiculous, over the top nonsense," said another. "You would rather the child be car sick? Give me strength. You are being totally unreasonable, causing you DD's sickness to be worse and causing a rift with your parents."
While a different user added: "Based on the small risk that your child could be in a serious car accident whilst in the care of your parents, you are willing to seriously damage your relationship with them. You are willing for your child to regularly feel car sick, which I could argue is distracting for the driver, increasing the likelihood of an accident."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
