The dilemma I am a 70-year-old woman and am consumed by regret and disappointment. Outwardly, I am happy, calm and outgoing, with friends and interests, but this facade hides my inner feelings, which I share with no one.
I married too young and chose the wrong man. I said yes when he asked me to marry him, and I felt unable to go back on my word. Throughout our marriage I have not been in love with him. In fact, I am massively ashamed to say that, at times over the decades, I have wished him dead – yet he has never done me harm, which makes it even more shameful. In contrast, he has always been steadfast in his love for me, and this continued even though five years into our marriage I had an affair. I went back to him after three months apart, mainly because I was lonely, and we have been together ever since.
