A teenager has been left heartbroken after her mum started treating her like a 'stranger' due to her age-gap relationship. The 19-year-old explained how she started dating a man 12 years her senior, thinking it would be OK as her mum was in an age-gap relationship at her age too.
But rather than support her relationship, her mum condemns it. Taking to Reddit, the teen, who now feels like a 'failure' after her mum's response, said: "I have never felt more upset and disappointed in my mother in my entire life. I am in a 12-year age-gap relationship. I’m 19. We met when I was 19 - he never knew me before that. I initiated it.
"I am incredibly self aware of my relationship. I am incredibly aware of what I was getting myself into when I got into this relationship. I do not consider myself to be overly mature for my age. I know what I’m capable of and what my limits are in life.
"This is his first age gap relationship as well so he didn’t know what to expect. But I did."
She went on to explain how her boyfriend thought she was aged 22 when they first met due to a miscommunication.
But his interest remained even after learning she's actually 19.
"My mum when she was 19 also got into an age gap relationship and ended up marrying the guy but he cheated on her so she divorced him," she added.
"That’s why she hates age gap relationships and also marriage, which I completely understand and I’ve always supported my mum.
"I would never judge my mum for having an age gap relationship.
"I am beyond happy with this guy. Happier than I have ever been with any boyfriend or girlfriend. He treats me like a queen.
"I am not in love with the man we are newly going out. I am just seeing where things go."
Annoyed by her mum's reaction to her new relationship, she cornered her to find out why she's so against it.
She said: "I feel like my mum shouldn’t be so hypocritical of me when she got married to an age-gap guy.
"I would understand if she was coming from a place of concern but when I asked her if it was coming from concern or just because of the age gap she couldn’t answer.
"If it wasn’t for the age gap she would like him.
"She described the relationship the best time of her life before she met my dad yet the only reason she hates the relationship is because he cheated on her with a man the same age as him.
"She married him and had a child with him but she miscarried unfortunately.
"She said that she views me differently and is going to treat me differently because 'I'm so adult'.
"I expect her to treat me like her daughter not some random person which it now feels I’ve turned into.
"I’ve never felt more hurt and like a failure in my life. But at the same time I can’t help but feel like she’s being a hypocrite and too harsh because she has been in my position before and understands."
Wanting to know whether she's wrong to date a man 12 years her senior, she has taken to Reddit to ask users for their thoughts.
"I have a mindset where an age gap relationship is fine to try out as long as you are 18+ and your parents should be concerned but supportive," she added.
"I need to know if I’m an a***hole in being with this guy who makes me so incredibly happy, or if my mum is in the right for treating me differently."
In response, one user said: "If you were 29 and he were 41, it would not be as much of an issue. Given that you are still in your teens, you should heed your mother's warnings.
"She's been there and thankfully survived. She does not want to see you go through what she did."
Another user added: "I watched my father pray on young women like yourself for my entire childhood.
"He exclusively dated very young women because they were easier to manipulate and were more likely to put up with his bulls*** than women his own age.
"I watched him love bomb them make them feel so special and so mature.
"Then once he had them where he wanted them, he abused them and used them for everything he could and then he dumped them for the next young thing that came along.
"You do you and that's all good but there's a reason your mum is trying to warn you."
A third user said: "You both are in different stages of life. What you feel as hypocritical of your mum, you may not feel the same way in a few years.
"Also how long have you been in this relationship? The first few months is the honeymoon period. Everything feels lovely. Do not fall for that trap."
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