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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I love my kids but I regret having them. How can I accept my life as a parent?

Eleanor GordonSmith
A painting of a woman looking tired surrounded by children and with a baby on her lap as a man turns his back on them
‘People think becoming a parent automatically transforms you into someone who enjoys parenting,’ Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Painting: The Exhausted Mother by August Heyn. Photograph: Artefact/Alamy

I have two children, aged eight and four. I love them both and we live in a mostly happy family with their dad, my partner.

We had our children in our early 30s, without really thinking about it or talking it through. I have struggled to find peace with my role as a parent and, though I love my kids, I am increasingly envious of my single friends.

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