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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Joe Stone

I have never eaten cucumber, onion – or an egg. Can I cure my extreme food phobias?

Writer Joe Stone's face surrounded by cucumbers
Joe Stone: ‘I struggle to imagine anything more disgusting than a salad.’ Photograph: Ilka & Franz/The Guardian

Is anyone more reviled than fussy eaters? Exclude the obvious candidates (murderers, estate agents, Piers Morgan) and it seems unlikely. It’s unfortunate that an era in which half the population identify as “foodies” has coincided with one in which the other half are convinced that eating wheat, gluten or nightshades will result in certain spiritual death. Worse still are people who swerve entire food groups on the basis of bizarre childhood whims that should have been abandoned with their teddy bears. I should know, I am one of them.

My diet is comfortably one of the top three most annoying things about me, and I say that as someone whose signature karaoke song is a 10-minute Taylor Swift epic about Jake Gyllenhaal losing her scarf. A non-exhaustive list of foods that I have never eaten includes lettuce, onions, carrots, cucumber, tomatoes (unless in a sauce or ketchup), mushrooms, eggs of any kind … I could go on.

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