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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Arwa Mahdawi

I got an allotment to escape the chaos – and discovered a hotbed of vendettas

A Caucasian gardener lying in a wheelbarrow in a garden, with a shed in the background.
‘The main demographic is older white women with vendettas against each other.’ Photograph: Jacobs Stock Photography Ltd/Getty Images

What do you do when it feels as if the world has lost the plot? There are various answers to that question, but one of the more wholesome (and legal) is this: secure your own little plot of earth and cultivate your garden. But that’s sometimes easier said than done. In the UK, more than 170,000 people are reportedly sitting on council allotment waiting lists. A controversial scheme nicknamed “WeWork for allotments” has even sprouted up to rent out green space and fill the gaps.

I know nobody wants to come to the US at present, but, based on a sample size of one, the allotment situation seems rather better over here, where I live. It took me only a year or so to get a plot in a community garden (what Americans call allotments) near me in Philadelphia, which felt miraculous.

The last time I’d been on a community waiting list, it was for a parking spot in my old apartment building in New York. I can’t actually drive, but the estimated wait time was 25 years, so I thought that would give me time to learn. Alas, I had a child and left New York long before I moved up even one spot in the line.

Once we did the introductory tour of our local garden, however, I understood why this particular waiting list had moved quickly. The neighbourhood leadership team does not mess around when it comes to rules. If your area becomes unruly, you get two warning letters before you’re evicted. This might put others off, but I was delighted. The more chaotic the world becomes, the more I crave rules and order. Come to think of it, this is why people turn to fascism, isn’t it? Imagine all the problems we could bypass if people looked for stability in allotment governance instead of authoritarian leaders.

Anyway, while I took to gardening to escape politics, it turned out shared green space can be surprisingly political. “The main demographic is older white women with vendettas against each other,” a fellow gardener told me when I asked for all the dirt. “But if you don’t have strong opinions on gravel, then you should be OK.” One neighbour spoke to me at length about how she believes she was once wrongly accused of stealing tomatoes.

So, please root for me. Despite my love of a good vendetta, I’m going to do my best to avoid conflict and cultivate peas on earth.

• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist

• Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

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