A woman was left stunned after discovering her mum in bed with her cousin, and was further dismayed to learn it had been going on for years. The 26-year-old woman had only nipped over to her parents' house to tell her mum about the holiday she'd just booked, and it soon became apparent that she'd forgotten all about her visit.
According to this alarmed daughter, her mum had been in the bedroom with a man she'd "always assumed was her cousin", when she arrived. When her mother eventually emerged, she was "very embarrassed and made light of it all", while her 'cousin' collected his things together and headed off.
As previously reported by WalesOnline, the distraught woman - known only as E.J. - has now reached out to agony aunt and trained counsellor Fiona Caine for some words of wisdom.
In a letter detailing the aftermath of her shocking discovery, the anonymous woman wrote: "I was shocked and didn't know what to say to her. In the end, we both ignored what we know had happened and I left as soon as I could."
E.J. hasn't spoken to her mum since that day but did discuss her discovery with her brother, who informed her that it had all been going on for some time and was in fact the main reason why he'd been in such a hurry to move out and get his own place.
Looking back, she now recalls that the 'cousin' had been around the family home more often when her mum was by herself, and she now wonders why she didn't twig sooner.
She continued: "My brother also said that he'd tried a few years back to have a quiet word about it with our father. However, he stopped caring one way or the other, when our father dismissed his worries and told him not to tell me, as I might misunderstand.
"Well, I don't misunderstand – I am 26 and I understand all too clearly. What my mother is doing is wrong and I want her to stop. I also hate that my family has deliberately kept this secret from me.
"My parents have lived together all this time, and I don't know why father seems so tolerant of what is going on. As long as this continues, I don't want to see her again, but I can't just shut her out of my life forever, she's my mother and I love her. What should I do?"
In response to the anguished letter, Fiona sympathised with E.J.'s difficult situation but advised her to "try not to judge your mother too harshly", as she may not yet know all the facts.
She explained: "For example, your parents' marriage might have failed some time ago, but they chose to continue living together under the same roof. Alternatively, they may have adopted a non-monogamous open relationship, leaving each other free to have sexual relationships with other partners.
"Perhaps your mother is not getting the affection she needs from her husband and looks for it elsewhere. As you didn't actually see what your mother was doing in the bedroom, is it possible that man might simply be a masseuse or physical therapist of some kind?"
Although Fiona clarified that this was of course all speculation, she remarked that the length of the supposed relationship means that it's most likely not a casual one.
Given that her dad appears reluctant to discuss what's been going on, Fiona encouraged E.J. to instead speak with her mother without being "angry or judgemental".
She continued: "She may indeed have kept the truth of this situation from you because she thought you were too young at the time to understand, or she was simply too embarrassed.
"Whatever the reason, you're an adult now, and you know that things are not always what they seem. Please contact her and explain that you still love her but need to know what is going on."
Do you have a dilemma to share? Email us at julia.banim@reachplc.com
