I feel guilty for having an emotional affair. How do I continue in my long-term relationship?

‘It’s not the having of the crush that betrays your partner in monogamous relationships, it’s the way you interact with it,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: The Question by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema. Photograph: MAXPPP/Alamy

I’ve been in a happy relationship for eight years. I have always felt extremely lucky to have met someone so suited to me so young, and many friends and family have remarked on what a special connection we have.

This sense of security was rattled recently when I met someone towards whom I felt an immediate and strong attraction. The attraction was not just physical. This new person and I had many shared interests and conversation chemistry. I felt an intense desire to keep them in my life, hoping the attraction would die down. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work like this – the more I talked to them, the more the feelings developed. After exchanging long messages daily, it dawned on me that I was having an emotional affair.