Family relationships can be challenging even without any major disagreements, not to mention dealing with big fallouts or drama.
A life-changing event leading to a broken family is what made this redditor cut ties with his mother. His sister didn’t, though, and after a decade of the guy having no contact with his mom, she invited the latter to accompany her to his wedding. That led to the OP uninviting his sister, but she wasn’t the only link between him and his mother.
Family relationships can quickly become very complicated
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This redditor wanted nothing to do with his mother, but the women he cares for had other ideas
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: pissedoffolderbro
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Many children choose not to lie to cover up a parent’s transgressions
Broken trust is not easy to fix, especially when it affects family relationships; and in the OP’s case, the mother’s actions had an effect so detrimental, it resulted in the son cutting off ties completely. To make matters worse, in addition to the infidelity the child witnessed, the mom also lied to him and asked him not to tell his father what he saw, which is not an easy situation for anyone to be in, let alone a child.
But, despite his mother’s convincing, the redditor told his dad the truth. Research on children’s lie-telling regarding a parent’s transgressions found that many of them do not engage in lies in order to conceal the wrongdoing of their parent, even after enduring explicit coaching by their mom or dad.
The research also found that children’s moral understanding of lies and truth increased significantly with age, as did their truthfulness after promising someone to tell the truth.
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For some people, cutting off ties with family members can be the better thing to do
Needless to say, relationships with those around us can significantly influence our own well-being, and research suggests that strained family relationships can affect it even more than troubles on the romantic front.
“We found that family emotional climate had a big effect on overall health, including the development or worsening of chronic conditions such as stroke and headaches over the 20-year span of midlife,” lead author of the study Dr. Sarah B. Woods, assistant professor of family and community medicine at UT Southwestern Medical Center, pointed out.
Woods added that for adults with chronic conditions, a negative family emotional climate may increase their poor health, which is likely why some people decide to cut ties with some of their kin altogether.
Research on family estrangement found that while such a decision can cause long-term consequences for an individual’s well-being due to the stress lack of such ties entail, for people initiating estrangement, it can boost their health, as a chronic stressor is then eliminated.
According to the research, roughly 6% of surveyed individuals reported estrangement from their mothers. While many of them chose to renew the relationship—roughly four-in-five people reportedly become unestranged from their mothers at some point—it’s unclear if the OP will ever have a relationship with his mom again, despite his sister’s effort or his fiancée’s views.
Fellow redditors shared their views, they didn’t think the OP was a jerk, but pointed out that his fiancée might have been
