Gary Woodland revealed that he spent almost five months in the build-up to his successful brain surgery in September "really thinking I was going to die."
The 2019 US Open champion underwent an operation to remove a benign brain tumor towards the end of 2023 and, thankfully, made a swift recovery which allowed him to start hitting balls again just two months later.
Ahead of his professional return at this week's Sony Open in Hawaii, the gritty American detailed some of the harrowing emotions he experienced from the point of diagnosis through to his treatment.
The 39-year-old revealed - at some of the worst points - he was often terrified anything and everything would kill him before an all-encompassing wave of relief hit him once he woke up and realized he still had full vision and the full use of his left side, post-surgery.
Speaking in the Sony Open's pre-tournament press conference, Woodland said:
"[Before surgery] The doctors kept telling me I was OK, but this thing which was pushing on the part of my brain which controls fear and anxiety... it didn't matter if I was driving a car or on an airplane - I'd be thinking the bin is going to fall on me - I just thought everything was going to kill me.
"So, you can imagine - leading up to surgery - what I felt like about the thought of having my head cut open and my brain operated on. The fear going into that was awful.
"When I woke up and realized I was OK, I was filled with thankfulness and love, and that replaced the fear. It was emotional, very emotional, because I'd gone four-and-a-half months of every day really thinking I was going to die.
"It was hard on me, but it was probably harder on my family because they had to deal with me throughout this whole thing and try to keep me positive and looking forward, and that was hard to do in the moment.
"After surgery, I definitely felt relief. One, that I could see and that I had the left side of my body, because those were the two big risks going in - losing my eyesight and losing the left side of my body. Having those when I woke up. I spent two days in the ICU and then walked out of the hospital."
Woodland explained that he knew something was wrong a couple of weeks after The Masters in April 2023 - stating the most telling factor was that "I just wasn't feeling like myself."
The four-time PGA Tour winner admitted that things began to get worse when he found himself jolting up in the middle of the night with his hands shaking and he was also experiencing an increased level of fear in his every-day life.
He said: "That was the one that scared me the most, the fear. I'm a very optimistic person, I believe good things will happen, and I was very fear-driven every day. Mostly around death."
Woodland admitted that as his condition became steadily worse - he suffered with the chills, a lack of energy, and no appetite - he felt compelled to call his doctor and ask for medication to help calm him down. But the doctor said that they could not prescribe anything without an MRI as they wanted to rule out Parkinson's Disease.
The 39-year-old then found out through further tests that he had a lesion on the part of his brain which controls fear and anxiety, and a specialist pointed out that the jolting and his trouble sleeping was down to Woodland suffering partial seizures.
An initially-low dose of anti-seizure medicine failed to help Woodland, but an increased application made noticeable inroads into curing the fits. Unfortunately for the American, the medicine was affecting his memory as well as other "horrible side-effects."
After undergoing surgery on a brain lesion, @GaryWoodland sheds light on what he has been through over the past year. pic.twitter.com/FJG39nnmkPJanuary 9, 2024
Woodland said that the fear in his brain did go away "for a couple of weeks" but once it came back, he was told by doctors that some form of surgery simply had to take place as they believed the lesion was growing again.
The Kansas-born player said the timing of this news was quite frustrating as his game "from a physical standpoint felt really good" and he was "in positions that I've been trying to get into for a long time." Plus, playing golf also took on the form of a coping mechanism.
But - after the American started to forget which clubs he was hitting and rushing putts for fear of taking too long - Woodland's caddie, Brennan Little, pulled his man aside after the Wyndham Championship and told the 39-year-old he needed to go and get help to sort his issue out once and for all.
And after seeing a specialist in Miami who told Woodland surgery was the only way to cure the fear and hopefully solve all of the other issues, the World No. 94 reluctantly prepared himself to go under the knife.
He continued: "[The doctor] didn't want to go in any more than he had to, so surgery and removal was the next step. They couldn't get it all out from where it is located. It was benign, which was a big deal, if it was cancerous then they would have removed it all. But it's against my optic track, so they removed as much as they could and they believe they cut off the blood circulation to what's left.
"They're tracking it right now, every three months, with MRI scans still. I had an MRI right before I came to Hawaii, a week-and-a-half ago, and everything was stable from surgery - so that's a huge relief for me. Showing up in Hawaii and practicing over the last 10 days, I had a little bit of relief off my back because it's stable right now and we'll just pray and hope that it continues to not grow."
Woodland will be hoping to mark his comeback with a win and a large slice of the $8.3 million prize purse at the Sony Open after last teeing it up in August's Wyndham Championship.
