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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I cancelled my wedding because my fiance hid his weed use. How do I know if I can trust him again?

Eleanor GordonSmith
George Henry Boughton. 'The Waning Honeymoon,' 1878. oil on canvas. Walters Art Museum
‘To say we want to trust someone again is to say we want to restore the gap between what’s proven and what’s felt.’ Painting: The Waning Honeymoon (1878) by George Henry Boughton. Photograph: Alamy

I cancelled my wedding one year ago because my fiance hid the fact that he continued to smoke weed after he promised to stop years before. I caught him smoking and I cancelled the wedding because I did not think I could trust him again. He had also told me his ex-girlfriend texted him on his birthday but he deleted those conversations with her and would not show them to me.

I want to know: how do I know if I can ever trust him again? I cried for a year and I knew I wanted to be with him forever and he feels the same way. However he is so hurt by me cancelling the wedding.

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