A first date going wrong are nothing new. But this Florida woman’s experience proves that sometimes, a person’s true character comes out days after the bill is paid.
TikTok creator Alexa Abney (@alexaabney69) shared a story that has reached over 5.9 million viewers, detailing how she ghosted a man for being “rude.” But five days later, he hunted down her socials and sent her “toxic masculinity” content on TikTok. The video highlights a growing trend of men using “logic vs. emotion” rhetoric against women. And Alexa’s date apparently did it to mask a simple inability to handle rejection.
Alexa’s first impression of her date was “hater number one”
In the video, Alexa briefly describes her initial date as a total failure. She explained that the man spent the entire evening acting like “hater number one.” In her account, he couldn’t seem to find a single positive thing to say about her life or achievements. On top of it, he failed to offer even a basic compliment.
Feeling that she didn’t owe any further energy to someone who was “so f—king rude,” Alexa decided to cut off contact entirely. For five days, everything was silent. Then, on a random night, the man went out of his way to track down her TikTok profile and sent her a DM that left her in total disbelief.
The TikTok DM came as a complete surprise and left Alexa confused
The man sent a TikTok video to Alexa, where a man was arguing that women are “crazy” and “illogical” beings. He added that women act purely through emotion and further claimed that men who “sign up” to be boyfriends shouldn’t have to act as therapists. In fact, they should not have to listen to their partner’s “cries for help.” Sorry what?
The irony, of course, was not lost on Alexa or her viewers. The man literally searched for her profile to send a derogatory video five days after being ignored. And he was not even following her account. Ironically, he proved he was the one acting out of an emotional impulse. As one user noted, “He went out of his way to look you up and find your TikTok. He’s so mad.”
The ‘He Said, She Said’ fallout to the date
In a rare move, the man in question actually surfaced to give his side of the story. However, he eventually deleted his response. In the now-deleted video, he claimed that Alexa was the one who lacked engagement. And his “hater” energy was actually just him being real about his expectations.
He also claimed that he reached out to her the following afternoon and sent her an apology text. According to him, the video DM was unintentional and he accidentally sent it while he was scrolling through TikTok sleepy. However, the internet wasn’t buying the explanation.
As several users pointed out, he had to search for her account to send that DM. You cannot “accidentally” do that especially if you’re so sleepy that you don’t know what you’re doing. This means, the DM was intentional. And responding to a failed date by sending a video that demeans an entire gender is no way about “logic.” If anything, it’s all about a bruised ego.
Who is in the wrong?
While dating is subjective, the consensus in the comments leans heavily toward Alexa. Ghosting after a single bad date is a common, albeit controversial, practice in the digital age. Despite that, it is a far cry from targeted harassment. The man’s decision to hunt down Alexa’s social media to send a video characterizing women as “crazy” is a classic example of projection.
If he truly felt that boyfriends shouldn’t have to listen to women’s problems, his most “logical” move would have been to accept the silence and move on to the next date. Instead, he chose to engage in the exact “emotional” drama he claimed to despise.
Rejection is a part of dating, not a call to arms
At the end of the day, people need to remember that a bad date is just a bad date. And if you decide to show a deep-seated resentment toward women on a first date, ghosting is not really a rude move. At that point, it’s more like a necessary survival instinct.
So, if a date feels like “hater number one,” listen to your gut. The TikTok DMs that follow will usually prove you right.
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