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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I can’t read anyone’s body language and I feel flirt-illiterate. How do I meet new people?

Eleanor GordonSmith
Painting: The Gallant Suitor by Edmund Blair Leighton (1890)
‘It might help to think of flirting as an extension of social bonding rather than a strategy unique to dating,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: The Gallant Suitor by Edmund Blair Leighton (1890). Illustration: Artepics/Alamy

I’m approaching 30 and I’ve been single since I was 19. What’s more, I haven’t dated anyone. This isn’t a question of labels – I have objectively not seen anyone for 10 years.

I’m a straight man and I have felt quite a bit of shame about not dating and not seeing anyone, and I have lied about my circumstances to family and friends. “Oh, yeah, I’ve been on dates,” and “Oh, yeah, I have a sex life,” are some of the lies I have repeated.

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