The victims of Lewis Edwards and their families have spoken of the deep trauma they suffered and the psychological effects of his crimes.
Some of the girls he targeted contemplated suicide or self-harmed and said they could never trust the police again. Relatives described their guilt at not spotting what was going on, feelings of failure at not being able to protect their children, and devastation that the abuser was a serving officer. Many expressed heartbreak that Edwards stole their daughters’ innocence.
One of the victims, who was 13 when Edwards’ exploitation began, said she was vulnerable because she was about to start a new school and was beginning to think about boys. “I thought I was talking to a really nice boy who liked me lots and complimented me, making me feel good about myself. I thought I was sending him images to make him happy.”
When he began to threaten her she felt “terrified, hurt and let down”. She said: “I became his property and felt isolated.”
The girl said she did not think she would ever get over the trauma. “My confidence and self worth has been impacted and resulted in difficulties with friendships and relationships with boys.”
Her mother felt she had been “kicked in the stomach” when her daughter told her what had happened. “The guilt [that] I had not protected her was overwhelming. I have felt numb, sick, lost and live in constant fear.
“To find it was a serving police officer was completely devastating. How can you get your head around the fact that someone who was there to protect you can do something like this?”
She said Edwards smirked at her during an earlier court appearance, which proved he had no remorse or empathy. “Watching my daughter struggle with the trauma and seeing her feel she needs to please men as a result of his power and control has been heartbreaking. He took away her innocence.”
Some girls said they became afraid to go out, partly because they felt they needed to be somewhere private when he ordered them to send a video. “He would message me demanding videos when I was out and it would panic me,” said one. “I was not an anxious person. I was always smiling. I’m not like that now. I’m always panicking.”
Edwards’ abuse affected the schooling of many of his victims. One family said their daughter was abused as she did crucial exams. “Through her GCSEs this man was threatening and blackmailing her. She was very angry, short-tempered, quite often tearful. We put this down to exams. It wasn’t until we received a knock on the door from the police that we started to put two and two together.”
They said their daughter felt guilt. “She worries she could have stopped him from targeting more young people. Her behaviour has been erratic ever since. She spends a lot of time on her own and we don’t have the stream of friends running through the house giggling and gossiping like we once had.”
One mother said she had misjudged the “delicate balance” between giving her daughter privacy and protecting her from danger and abuse. “She is a 12-year-old whose innocence has been violated.”
A number of Edwards’ victims described thinking about suicide. One mother described a call from her daughter’s school saying she was suicidal and she had began self-harming. “I had no idea what the cause was. She must have been so scared. To think of her alone in her bedroom suffering, not being able to tell me breaks my heart.
“He turned her from a confident young woman into a shell of herself. She won’t go anywhere without me. Education, friendships, relationships have all been destroyed because of that evil man preying on innocent girls. This has rocked my confidence as a mum.”
Another mother said: “There were many occasions when I know she contemplated suicide and [she] still refers to those dark times and how she thought she was hollow and worthless. She was too scared to miss a message for fear of what he would do. She was terrified of what he wanted next.
“The love she had for herself and the person she was has changed. She no longer loves her body and has insecurities about the way she looks, and trusts very few people. As a parent I blame myself, I was unable to support her when she needed me. This man took my daughter’s innocence and joy for life. She has lost her sparkle.”
• In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
