I asked a strange woman to look after my dog. I’ll admit it: I feared the worst

Zoe Williams and Romeo. Photograph: Courtesy of Zoe Williams

The note I have to leave for dog-sitters reads like a document from the previous, now deceased inhabitants of a haunted house. “Never, ever off a lead – nowhere is safe”; “If you see the boston terrier from next door, back away; if you see the husky from over the road, run – don’t walk”; “If you walk after 10pm, that is the hour of the fox, and will go hard on you unless you want to sacrifice the fox”. It is embarrassing, and my preference is to have the same dog-sitter who I’ve known since he was 10 and doesn’t need me to say all this twice. Plus, he remembers my last dog, so he knows that I’m not the problem. The dog is the problem.

‘Around other dogs, he will remind you of the savagery that lives in even the sunniest heart …’ Photograph: Courtesy of Zoe Williams