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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I am kinky but my partner is not. Should I end our secure, loving relationship?

‘Continuing a relationship isn’t just a question of whether you like this person, it’s a question of whether your lives can really dovetail.’ Painting: Nymph and Faun, 1878, Ernst Josephson.
‘Continuing a relationship isn’t just a question of whether you like this person, it’s a question of whether your lives can really dovetail.’ Painting: Nymph and Faun (1878) by Ernst Josephson. Photograph: Artokoloro/Alamy

I have been in a loving relationship for three years. When I first met him, I told a close friend that I thought I’d met the love of my life. That initial infatuation gave way to a more realistic affection, but he’s smart, handsome and caring. I enjoy our time together and feel secure and trusting.

Sexually, things were enjoyable at the beginning. That calmed down into a less frantic dynamic but we still have sex once per week.

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