Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor is now the first member of the royal family to be arrested since King Charles I in 1647. If you’re a student of history, you may already know how that one played out. If not, I’ll give you a clue: *Whack! Bounce bounce bounce gush gush gush*.
Beheading isn’t on the menu in 2026 but, at this point, Andrew may well be wondering whether a quick end would be better than years of having his disgusting life pored over by the cops and public.
