Being a stay-at-home (SAH) parent is still usually the mom’s job. Pew Research Center claims only 18% of SAH parents in the U.S. are dads. That’s almost one in five. Wives often become stay-at-home mothers full-time or have a side job from home that they can balance with taking care of the kids.
Sometimes, their husbands might think that childcare is not a full-time job. Like this father, who got angry at his wife for not taking care of dinner one evening, claiming she “does nothing all day.” Wanting to prove it, he worked from home the next day and took care of the two kids all by himself. The wife saw him struggle but did nothing to help. So, when he called her out, she asked the Internet to weigh in on who was the jerk in this situation.
Working from home and taking care of kids at the same time can be hard
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When this husband told his wife that she does nothing all day as a SAHM, she dared him to try it out
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Being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job
Many working parents think that staying at home and taking care of the kids is not such a terrible burden. That’s why statements like this husband’s that stay-at-home parents ‘do nothing’ are common. In reality, they are not only hurtful to their spouse but inaccurate as well.
Clinical Psychologist Samantha Rodman Whiten explains how stay-at-home parents usually spend their day and why it’s not as easy as working parents imagine. Some people think that childcare takes minimal effort: you feed them, you watch that they don’t crack their heads, and you put them to sleep.
In reality, Rodman Whiten writes that today’s parents have to do a lot more. They have to make sure the kids eat healthy and limit their screen time. They have to play with the kids, but the games have to be engaging and help with their development. That’s why stay-at-home parents might not have the time to vacuum, clean up, and make three meals a day.
Stay-at-home-parents (who are, let’s face it, mostly women) also have to deal with social isolation. Research shows that parents who stay home to care for children are at higher risk of poorer physical and mental health. They’re also more prone to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
A 2012 Gallup poll revealed that stay-at-home mothers who don’t work at all report feeling sadness or anger. Employed moms, in turn, are practically as well-off emotionally as working women who do not have children.
Rodman Whiten also points out how tiring spending all day caring for children can be. “Work is intellectually challenging and not physical,” she writes. “SAHMing is the reverse, and [it] is exhausting as a result.”
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Having one parent stay at home can positively benefit the children
Not all parents have the luxury to stay at home and take care of their kids, but research shows that having a stay-at-home parent helps the child’s development. A 2014 study showed that the benefits of having one parent at home can help a child’s education up to high school. Children aged 6 and 7, however, saw the biggest advantages.
When a child spends their preschool years at home rather than in a kindergarten, they tend to have fewer behavioral problems. Research shows that kids feel more stressed when they’re in a daycare setting. Staying at home and having a parent take care of them reduces that stress.
Many parents choose to be a SAHM or a SAHD so they can have better control over their child’s upbringing. They want their children to intentionally spend more time with family members. The Pew Research Center found that SAHMs spend 18 hours a week with their children, while working moms spend 11.
Taking care of a child at home can also be cheaper than daycare. The average weekly daycare cost in the U.S. in 2024 is reportedly $321. And 54% of parents said that waitlists for daycare are becoming longer.
Whatever the parents decide, they should make this decision together and respect their roles. Parents are, after all, a team, and they should act like one, especially where there are children are concerned.
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People called out the husband’s entitled behavior
