Good to have it confirmed that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin will be talking about Ukraine behind its back on Friday in Alaska, as the US president rambled through a press conference on Monday in which he explained that Putin “wasn’t going to mess with me” and that Ukraine was going to have to accept new borders. And listen – you’ll agree that territorial pronouncements mean so much more coming from a guy whose staff once shamelessly redrew a hurricane impact map to stop him looking stoopid. It’s a true honour for the Ukrainians to see their country effectively carved up by someone who would prefer to post-rationalise any old crap with a Sharpie than admit he doesn’t have the first clue about it and cares even less.
Leave it to the tasteful visionary behind the Gaza Riviera to categorise what he’s doing as trying to get back some of Ukraine’s “oceanfront property”. “In real estate we call it oceanfront property,” Trump said on Monday, demystifying this term of high art for non-developers who haven’t contrived to bankrupt several Atlantic City casinos. “That’s always the most valuable property.” Thanks, Mister Mogul! It is assumed that the stretch of high-end primo coastline Trump was referring to included Mariupol, the utterly ruined port in which many thousands of civilians perished during the Russian siege. In international law we call it a possible war crime; in real estate we call it … what? Strategic pre-construction? Spa-chitecture?
