As a single mum, Lara was always busy. “I was living in Bristol and working as a child protection lawyer, which was a tough job,” she says. “But I was also enjoying myself and going out as much as I could when my children were with their dad.”
One night in the autumn of 2014, she went to the Invisible Circus, a “Bristol institution” with acrobats, gymnasts and performers, and a fancy dress theme for guests. In the queue for the toilets, she got chatting to Claire, who was also a single mum of the same age. “She was wearing a 70s kaftan and homemade turban, which looked fabulous,” says Lara. “I think we were talking nonsense in the queue but I remember coming home and thinking that I really liked her.”
Claire, who lives in the same area of Bristol and runs an occupational therapy business, felt the same way. “Lara was so easy to talk to and I remember laughing a lot,” she says. The next day, Claire popped up on Lara’s Facebook friend suggestions, so she added her. “We would chat sometimes and like each other’s pictures,” says Claire.
In the spring of 2015, they met again by chance at their local GP surgery. “I was off work with stress,” says Lara. “When I saw Claire in the waiting room, I was tearful and she was very kind to me.”
They arranged to meet for coffee a few days later. “It felt like we really connected again, but under different circumstances,” says Claire. “After that, we started going for coffee all the time. I loved that I could be weird around her and not worry about being judged. Our parents are both pub landlords, so we had loads in common.”
Callout
Lara says she has “lots of amazing friends”, but feels Claire understands some of the unique challenges that come with being a single mum. “Our kids get on really well too.” Although Lara has a long-term boyfriend, Claire is still often her “plus one” for events.
When Claire was diagnosed with ADHD four years ago, she confided in Lara. “She listened to me bang on about it for so long,” she laughs. “She was really supportive. I also have a condition called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which causes joint issues, and she’s always thoughtful and aware of any challenges I might have.”
Lara says Claire has invariably offered her the same level of support. “I have a history of recurring depression and she’s always compassionate. She knows when to leave me alone and when to get me out on adventures.”
Last year, Lara was unexpectedly diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. “Claire came with me to get the diagnosis,” she says. “My children and I were in denial and disbelief, so she was asking all the questions.”
For Claire it was an “incredibly tough” day. “I was honoured that Lara wanted me there, supporting her and her children, but it was really hard to hear.” Initially, Lara was told the cancer was inoperable, but a course of palliative chemotherapy meant she was able to have surgery on her liver, to which the cancer had spread. “They took away 75% of my liver but still weren’t able to get all the cancer out,” says Lara. “I stopped palliative chemotherapy in June this year because I wanted to live my best life, rather than be more ill in my final months.”
At the moment she is still active, and spending as much time with friends and family as she can. “Cancer made me realise how loved I am,” she says. Coping with Lara’s illness has been tough for them both, but they prefer not to dwell on it. “We want to focus on having as many fun and happy times as possible,” says Claire. “We recently went to a festival and we’re planning more trips away together.”
Despite her situation, Claire says that Lara always remains upbeat. “Even when she’s struggling, she’s always there to give me good advice and tell me how it is, which I really appreciate.”
Lara loves her friend’s sense of adventure and loyalty. “She has an encyclopaedic knowledge of medical matters and she has been a constant support to me and my children,” she says. “I love her passion for life and the way she’s always there for me. That’s priceless in a friendship.”
