For Sarah, 2013 had been a difficult year. She was struggling after losing both her parents and threw herself into her job as an architect to distract herself. “My dad had a stroke and my mum had cancer in a short space of time,” she says. “I was a single mum to two children who were at university. I’d always been passionate about my work but it became my focus.” Living in the small town of Eye in Suffolk, she worked mainly on modest, local jobs. One day, a builder she knew asked if she would be interested in helping a client near Ipswich. “It was a big house far from where I was living,” she says. “But it looked like such an interesting project that I said yes.”
The client was Chris, a single father with grownup children, who worked as a banker in London and commuted from Suffolk. “We moved here in the 90s, but six years later I lost my wife to cancer,” he says. “The house had so many reminders of her that I decided to buy somewhere else, a 16th-century property that I could renovate.” By 2014 he had already spent five years working on the house, but was struggling with planning permission. “My builder told me that he knew an architect who specialised in working with English Heritage.”
When they were first introduced, Sarah and Chris communicated via email. “He was working in the City, so I never saw him,” says Sarah. “I did enjoy his sense of humour on email though.” A few months later, they met briefly at his home, where she found him a little intimidating. “He was this city banker and I’m a country mouse,” she says.
The next time they met, Chris was feeling unwell. “He was recovering from food poisoning and looked awful. He was unshaven, in his dressing gown, looking rough,” she says. “I felt really sorry for him.” She realised that despite their differences, he could be a “kindred spirit”, as their situations were quite similar, having both brought up their children alone and now living by themselves. She suggested they meet up when he was feeling better and a few weeks later they went to Southwold for fish and chips. “I was wrapped up in work and wasn’t meeting people, so a bit of company was nice,” he says. “We had a really enjoyable evening.”
Callout
They got on so well that they both began to wonder if it could turn into something more. “We wanted to meet up again for a date but it took a couple of months,” says Chris. The distance between their homes, as well as their busy lives, meant it was hard to schedule a time. “I was also really worried about the ethical implications of dating a client. I had to contact the Royal Institute of British Architects to get permission but luckily it was OK,” says Sarah.
For their second date, they arranged to see Handel’s Messiah in Cambridge. “He was an utter gentleman. It was his caring and nurturing side that really appealed to me,” she says. After that, they began seeing each regularly. “In early 2015, we were ready to tell people we were a couple but we were more worried about telling the builder than our children! It was awkward because of the professional relationship.” They needn’t have worried. “Everyone was delighted for us,” says Chris. “I think our kids were pleased we’d found someone to have a happy retirement with.”
A year and a half later, Sarah moved into Chris’s house. “When I designed it, I made it bespoke for Chris, never thinking that I might live here,” she says. “Because he’s 6ft 5in, I thought I would be clever and make all the worktops higher. But I’m 5ft 4in so I need a little step to peer into the pans and reach the shelves.”
As well as continuing to work on the property, they love cooking together, travelling and walking the dogs. “Chris is so supportive. I see myself as a friend to his children. Likewise, he’s a really positive role model to my kids.”
They recently became engaged and plan to marry next month. Chris loves his partner’s sense of energy and unpredictability. “Her natural warmth has always drawn me in and she has such a good sense of fun.”
Sarah appreciates Chris’s curiosity and stability. “I’m very flighty and artistic and he keeps me steady. Neither of us were expecting to meet anyone, so to suddenly find someone is quite amazing. I could have gone on alone, but he has rejuvenated me and made me realise what life is all about.”
