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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Lizzie Cernik

How we met: ‘One of my friends said: “Dave fancies you!” I said: “Oh God”’

Jill and Dave in 2012
‘Eventually I realised I did like him’ … Jill and Dave in 2012 Photograph: Handout undefined

In 1973, when Jill discovered that Dave had a crush on her, she was less than impressed. They had met at art college in Leicester the year before, but she had never considered a romantic relationship with him. “The first time we spoke was when he barged into a conversation I was having to ask if I knew of any rooms going,” she says. Although they had mutual friends, it was a while before they got to know each other.

The next year, she bumped into him at the college library. “He was very insistent that I come to his 21st birthday party,” she says. “While I was there, one of my friends came over and said: ‘Dave fancies you.’ My response was: ‘Oh God.’ I just didn’t fancy him at all.” Not wishing to be rude, she agreed to meet him for a coffee. “I definitely fancied her,” Dave says. “I liked the way she looked and dressed and I found her funny. We liked similar art and music as well.”

The next Monday, she went to the coffee shop to meet him but got cold feet. “I’d only agreed to go out with him so I didn’t hurt his feelings, but I was a bit panicked because I didn’t want to pursue this relationship,” she says. “I ended up hiding around the back of the building.” But, when Dave arrived, he took a different route and assumed she was standing there waiting for him. “I had no idea she was trying to hide from me – she wasn’t doing a very good job,” he laughs.

Dave and Jill on their wedding day.
‘What has kept us going is that we have the same moral values’ … Dave and Jill on their wedding day. Photograph: Courtesy Jill and Dave

They had a drink together, and Jill soon warmed to Dave. “He really made me laugh and I realised I actually did like him.” From then on, they enjoyed regular dates, going to the cinema and gigs whenever they got the chance. By the end of 1973, they had moved in together in a shared house in Leicester. “I kept asking her to marry me but she kept saying no,” says Dave.

Eventually, she said yes, and they got married in London in 1975. “Two weeks before the wedding, the priest told us not to do it,” says Jill. “I’m an atheist and Dave is a practising Catholic and he told us it would never work.” Despite the warnings, it was something they overcame. “At the beginning we used to argue about it but we got to a stage of accepting each other as we were. Religion hasn’t affected our relationship,” she says. The year after, they moved to Leeds so that Dave could complete his teacher training, before settling in Blackpool. Jill worked in graphic design, then later as a teacher and photographer. They have three children together, born in 1978, 1980 and 1982.

As well as their differing views on religion, the couple are opposites in many other ways. “He loves a drink and I’m teetotal; I’m an introvert and he’s an extrovert; I’m a worrier, and he’s not at all,” says Jill. “What has kept us going is that we have the same moral values. We were always in agreement about how to bring up our children and we have the same political views and sense of humour.” In 1982, after their third child was born, Jill experienced severe postnatal depression. “It took me a long time to recover and Dave was really supportive.”

As well as spending time together as a couple, they enjoy their own hobbies independently. “It’s a really nice balance. We give each other space but come together when we want to, which works perfectly for us.” They also enjoy seeing their grandchildren and love to travel.

Jill loves her partner’s trustworthiness. “We bicker a lot, but then he always makes me laugh and I can’t be mad any more,” she says. Dave admires his wife’s work ethic. “She has always worked really hard for our family, and she’s bubbly and funny. She drives me round the bend but I’d never be without her.”

Callout

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