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How to tell your kids the family is under financial pressure, according to a child psychologist

As the cost of living rises, parents could be reconsidering after-school activities like sports that come with a price tag. (Virginia Tapp: ABC )

After 10 rate rises in a row, massive increases in rental prices, power and essentials like food and fuel, something has to give.

Families are weighing up where every dollar goes and whether to pause or cancel sporting memberships, change schools or move house to save money.

But how do we explain that to kids in a way that doesn't leave them stressed and uncertain?

"It's about reminding them that we're safe and we're together and that won't change," says Kathryn Esparza, who works with children as a clinical psychologist at Anxiety House, and also lectures in psychology at University of the Sunshine Coast.

Clinical psychologist Kathryn Esparza says ensuring children feel safe and loved is key when families are facing change. (ABC Sunshine Coast: Owen Jacques)

"[Tell them] things might look different and be different for a little while but us being together and being family, that won't change.

"And that sort of helps to be a buffer for that uncertainty, which is really anxiety-provoking for kids."

Kids might have a hard time and that's OK

Ms Esparza said children could feel disappointed or distressed as tough decisions were made, whether that involved the loss of a music lesson or saying goodbye to schoolmates due to a big move.

She said for some, that would mean giving up things that were "important to their sense of belonging, inclusion and wellbeing" and caregivers should try to appreciate kids' feelings.

Small children may feel a sense of loss if they're no longer able to play with friends due to their family's financial pressures. (ABC News: Maren Preuss)

Do kids need to know why? Yes, says Ms Esparza.

"For children, change involves loss and that really needs to be validated," she said.

"I recommend parents really sit down and discuss this between themselves first and decide what's essential and what's not essential. 

"[Ask] what's in the best interest of our children and what are the other areas we can budget better or cut back first?"

She said children took cues from their parents and family. 

"If children feel confused about changes in their house, they might start taking on adult worries," Ms Esparza said.

"Particularly if they see that mum and dad are really scared or not coping.

"That could be beyond their age and stage to cope with and manage."

Different messages for different ages

How parents and carers speak to children should depend on their age or maturity.

Ms Esparza said if they were pre-school aged, it might be as simple as offering them something else to do.

"With very young children you're going to say a lot less and that's very appropriate," Ms Esparza said.

"Being able to say with children, 'No we can't do that today which is tough, I can see you really wanted to do this or go there, but what we can do is this'.

Finding activities that cost little or no money are a way to ensure kids are still connecting with the family and growing into happy and healthy people. (Supplied: Moyne Shire)

"With primary school-aged children, it's actually a really good time to start talking about budgets, how they work, why we have them and why they're helpful - so framing it in a really positive light.

"Parents might want to avoid phrases like, 'We can't afford this' or, 'We have no money left' because that's really scary for children as there's nothing really in their power to change any of that."

And for older teenagers, it is about explanation.

"It's really important that mum and dad actually understand how this works," she said.

"It's helpful for children to have explained to them how rate rises work, how inflation impacts us, in age-appropriate language."

Big change: Moving home, school

For those life-changing moments when children find out they are moving to a new school or house, the advice is to provide support and hear their worries -- particularly if they are very young.

And for older children, Ms Esparza said explaining how and why things were happening was important, while reminding them "there's nothing we can't get through as a family".

The most important thing for children is feeling safe, and enjoying quality time with their family (Flickr: John Morgan)

Finding family activities with "quality time" that doesn't cost money can also help.

But she advises seeking help early if children need it.

"Changing school in those older primary and secondary schooling years, that can have a big impact on kids," she said.

"Starting with your GP, talking about what the family has been through, how mum and dad are coping, and getting some things in place with either a counsellor or a psychologist."

Kids are tougher than we think

Ms Esparza said all the extra sports, lessons and activities were great for kids, but were not critical when raising a happy, healthy human.

"Children are amazingly resilient," she said.

Children are resilient and while extra-curricular activities are good for them, they're not critical. (ABC Coffs Coast: Liz Keen)

"[Tell them] yes, we're not doing the swimming or the sport or the movies as regularly as we'd like to but we're having all this beautiful time with people we love and having these positive experiences," she said.

"That's what builds happy, resilient adults.

"So rest assured that even in hard times if those family relationships are strong, that's really protective for children."

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