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Louise Thomas
Editor
Ahead of the General Election on July 4, emotions may be heightened during conversations about political parties and their policies with family and friends.
Avoiding such discussions is near impossible as we get closer to placing our vote in the ballot box, so what do counsellors and family psychologists advice for navigating tricky situations if there’s tension and disagreements?
Here’s how to make sure the conversations don’t go sour…
Encourage healthy debate
Many of us were taught not to discuss politics, money or religion in public growing up, but Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, thinks this stance is counterproductive.
She encourages everyone to open channels of dialogue about politics with their friends and family, especially children as it can foster critical thinking.
“We shouldn’t avoid these topics because they can help build a foundation of understanding and discovery for young people,” says Yassin. “Embracing political conversations in the home can help children to build important critical thinking and development skills.”
Come from a place of curiosity
Taking time to understand where our loved one’s political opinions come from could help ease tensions.
“Be curious – instead of dismissing or shutting down, look to understand how the other person’s experiences, values and beliefs have led to their particular political persuasion,” says Yassin. “Simple open questions, such as ‘Why does it feel that way to you?’ and, ‘What’s your experience of that?’ can help to expand the conversation beyond a disagreement on what is right and wrong.”
“Coming from a neutral place of curiosity and understanding means that the other person doesn’t leave the conversation feeling like they (or their viewpoint) is less-than or inadequate,” she adds.
Consider a change of scenery
If political differences have created a toxic atmosphere within your home, these conversations might play out better outside in the fresh air.
“Walking side by side with a friend, partner or family member can make it easier to talk through any issues, as the exercise and fresh air can help to lift your mood and lighten the atmosphere,” recommends Lowri Dowthwaite-Walsh, cognitive behavioural psychotherapist and senior lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire.
Listening is key
“Becoming a better listener involves practising empathy and patience,” says Dr Patricia Britto, educational psychologist. “Focus on understanding rather than responding.
“Reflect on what you hear to confirm your understanding and validate the other person’s perspective,” she adds. “Remember, listening does not mean you agree, but it shows respect for their viewpoint.”
Avoid name calling
Using insults will quickly turn a productive discussion into an argument, so avoid using them in the heat of the moment.
“Throwing accusations, such as, ‘You’re a [insert political party]’, ‘You’re a bigot’, ‘You’re selfish’ can quickly alienate another person,” explains Yassin. “This can lead to a person feeling accused, cornered or attacked and it’s likely the conversation will end abruptly, leaving a sour taste. Using sarcasm or putting someone down to point score is likely to trigger or escalate an argument.
“It’s also important to avoid telling someone what their position or thinking is,” adds Yassin. “We may feel we know our family members inside out, but the reality is that we never really know what the other person is thinking or experiencing, and guessing someone else’s position can be dangerous.”
Take a step back
“If conversations begin to escalate, consider taking a break and revisit it later with a calmer head,” advises Lalitaa Suglani, an eHarmony relationship expert and psychologist. “It may prove difficult in the moment, but always remember that love and respect should take precedence over political leanings.”
“Allowing time to sleep on it, recover, and reflect can offer a fresh perspective on heated situations,” adds Dowthwaite-Walsh. “When texting or messaging on social media, it’s good to allow at least five minutes before responding. Try to think carefully about your responses, rather than reacting immediately.”
Take time to acknowledge your feelings
When the General Election campaign culminates on July 4, it is inevitable that many people will be feeling deflated so take time to process these emotions afterwards.
“If you’re unhappy or angry about the election outcome, it’s vital to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to process them,” advises Britto. “Channel your emotions into constructive actions, such as community involvement or advocacy, to make a positive impact.
“Regardless of the election outcome, your wellbeing and relationships are paramount.”
