‘How do you spend your cash?’ Nine money conversations we need to stop avoiding with friends, family and romantic partners

Knowing what money means to our loved ones can help us understand each other. Photograph: Boris/Stocksy United

They say money talks, but talking about money? Another thing entirely.

That’s because money questions can feel like character judgments, says psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber. “Asking someone: ‘Can you afford it?’ may sound like ‘Have you failed?’; ‘Why won’t you pay?’ may sound like ‘Don’t you care?’ We absorb powerful messages about being successful, generous or self-sufficient. Admitting what we have, what we need or what frightens us can leave us feeling surprisingly exposed.”