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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

How do I break up with a kind and generous man who leaves me feeling cold and irritated?

Painting: The Suitor by Harold Copping (1932).
‘If you’re not compatible, that’s why you break up. It’s not the breakup that makes you incompatible,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: The Suitor by Harold Copping (1932). Illustration: Alamy

How do I break up with a man who loves me, is super kind and generous, and provides stability but who leaves me feeling cold and irritated most of the time?

I’m a 36-year-old woman and we’ve been together for four years. During this time his stability has provided me with a base to grow and expand in the most wonderful ways. Now I feel suffocated. He is a wonderful person but has no interest in ever leaving his home town to try something new (I’m an immigrant). His only interests are pubs and football and when we go abroad he wants to spend most of his time in the pub, which infuriates me.

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