SunLife's new Cost of Dying report has revealed this year’s most unique funeral requests, which include the deceased asking to be dressed as Santa, ice cream vans at the funeral and mourners dressing up as Sugar Puffs’ famous mascot, the Honey Monster. According to new data from the report, 18% of funerals now include personal and unusual requests ranging from fairly simple wishes like ‘no black’, to more unexpected requests such as a sword demonstrator, being buried with a bottle of Buckfast and one man even asking his family to eat their body.
SunLife has compiled a list of some of the more ‘unusual requests’ from this year’s Cost of Dying report.
Celebration of life – Stilt walkers, pic’n’mix and tapdancing
44% of funerals in this year’s report described as ‘celebration of life’. One person said: “A friend of mine requested for all people to wear fancy dress. Music was played by an ABBA tribute band, there was a pink coffin and instead of throwing dirt on to the coffin, we threw Harrods pick and mix. And the wake was a 1970s disco.”
Another said: “Every summer, we have a Green Man festival and the organiser died. We took the body to where the festival was... stilt walkers and circus performers lined the street.”
A third added: “The mother died and everything was pink, a pink hearse, pink coffin and pink flowers. Everyone wore pink and it was an amazing send off for the lady.”
Another said: “A man whose mum was a dancing teacher had died. He was a tap dancer in the West End. He put on his tap shoes on and did a routine in front of his mother’s coffin.”
Thank you for the music - Agadoo and Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
Picking music that means something to the deceased and their family is a simple but really lovely way to personalise a funeral, and 21% of funeral directors say they are noticing more and more people moving away from the traditional and towards the bespoke:
One director said: “At one, they played ‘Agadoo’ as the exit music and everyone had to do the dance. Including the funeral directors!”
Another person added: “A friend recorded his own version of ‘Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah’ with a drum solo in the middle. It was priceless and never forgotten.”
A third said: “’Gertcha’ by Chas and Dave was a comedy song my dad played for all his grandkids. The bishop was not happy but everyone else left laughing.”
Another said: “I just find the choice of music is very varied. I did a funeral yesterday and the committal music was the Theme music to the comedy sketch - Still Game.”
Unusual outfits - Honey Monsters, clowns and Elvis
Asking people not to wear black at a funeral is becoming more and more common; in fact, this year’s report reveals that 23% of those who organised a funeral encouraged people to wear colourful clothing. One said: “About two months ago, we had a young man and all his friends dressed up as Sugar Puff men – they came in Honey Monster suits.”
Another said: “The deceased was a big Elvis fan and the family have requested people to wear Elvis dress.”
A third said: “One guy was a clown at the seaside and all their attendees were dressed as clowns, that was lovely.”
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Customised coffins
One in 12 people now have a personalised or bespoke coffin. One funeral director said: “They had a Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings decorated coffin, and I dressed up as Gandolph and walked in front of the hearse.”
Another had a greenhouse shaped coffin 'as the deceased loved his greenhouse'.
Another added: “Recently we did a funeral for a boy who was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine, so we sourced a coffin the same shape as Thomas the Tank Engine.”
Sometimes, it is not so much a theme, but a request for a particular item to be either in or on the coffin:
A funeral director said: “The coffin had a pot of porridge on it due to the deceased loving porridge.”
Another added: “There were nail clippings of the deceased person in the coffin.”
Many people now want to include a mobile phone in the coffin.
Various vehicles
Having vehicles other than hearses at your funeral is not so unusual, this year has seen funerals with ice-cream vans, a motorcycle hearse, a tractor and horse-drawn hearses.
Dressing up the deceased
As well as asking mourners to wear a particular colour, or dress code, the deceased themselves will often request to be dressed a certain way - including Santa Claus and one man who wanted to be in a coffin on a bed of hay. One woman asked to be buried in her wedding dress.
Downright odd
While it’s pretty standard to ask for people to wear your football team’s kit at your funeral, or for your favourite song to be played at the service, some people do have some very strange ideas - including a sword demonstrator and pet dog's ashes.
One man said: “He wanted us to eat his body. I said Dave, that’s not happening son!”
Ian Atkinson, CMO at SunLife said: “We have been studying funerals since 2004, and while this year, around a third of people described the funeral they organised as ‘traditional’, four out of five funeral directors say there have been a rise in the number of ‘celebration of life’ funerals. Each year, there are some great examples of how people include personal touches to make their loved ones’ funerals really special.
“Perhaps more funerals would be personal if we were better as a nation at talking about death. Our report shows less than one percent of people organising a funeral knew all the deceased’s wishes. But when asked, most people know exactly what they want for their own funeral, so we really do need to start talking more.
“Our free tools – My Perfect Send-Off, which helps you record your preferences, and the Funeral Song Generator, which helps you find the perfect song to go out to – are a great way to start the conversation.”
