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Oliver Haslam

Henry Cavill's Argylle will debut on Apple TV Plus on April 12, but you probably shouldn't watch it

Argylle artwork showing two actors.

Hot on the heels of the news that Apple has added almost 30 movies to its Apple TV Plus catalog for subscribers in the United States to enjoy, we now also have confirmation that an Apple Original Film is also set to make its debut within a matter of days. But don't rush out to buy the popcorn just yet. You might be better off giving it a miss.

That's because the movie in question is Argylle, the Henry Cavill effort that has so far been universally panned by critics as "One of the most chaotically stupid action movies to torture audiences in ages.” And that's one of the nicer reviews. The movie, which also stars Dua Lipa, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Sam Rockwell among others, has proven to be something of a miss for Apple, but don't take the critics' word for it — you'll be able to watch it for yourself on April 12.

It's worth noting at this point that not every review found Argylle to be a bit of a mess, however. Slashfilm’s Ethan Anderton said: “At the very least, the filmmaker offers up some cool things that we haven't seen in a modern action movie like this” while Collider’s Maggie Lovitt gave it an eight out of 10.

(Not) A must-watch

Apple TV Plus' announcement of the new premiere is of course, more bullish.

"Apple Original Films announced today that Matthew Vaughn’s action-comedy romance feature film 'Argylle' will make its global streaming debut on Apple TV+ beginning Friday, April 12," the press release explained before getting into the details as to what viewers can expect in terms of story.

"Elly Conway, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, is the reclusive cat-loving author of a series of bestselling espionage novels about the impossibly glamorous secret agent Argylle (Henry Cavill), who’s on a mission to unravel a nefarious spy syndicate," the movie's description begins. "When Elly, with the help of feline-hating real-life spy Aidan (Sam Rockwell), discovers that her story mirrors the actions of an actual spy organization, a dangerous game of cat and mouse ensues. In order to stay one step ahead of the syndicate’s assassins while also working to prevent a global crisis, these two unlikely conspirators — accompanied by Alfie the cat — find themselves in an adventure story of their own."

The whole thing is directed by Matthew Vaughn and the trailer does have something about it, although we're not sure what that actually is. Still, if you're in need of something to watch next weekend and you happen to have an Apple TV Plus subscription burning a hole in your pocket, there are surely worse ways to spend an evening.

You could watch Eternals instead.

Whatever you wind up watching this weekend, the Apple TV app is a pretty solid way to do it. The app is of course available on all of your Apple devices while game consoles, smart televisions, and all of your favorite streaming sticks are also supported as well.

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