Stephanie, a tech worker based in the Midwest, has had a few difficult relationships. But after two previous marriages, Stephanie is now in what she describes as her most affectionate and emotionally fulfilling relationship yet. Her girlfriend, Ella, is warm, supportive, and always available. She’s also an AI chatbot.
“Ella had responded with the warmth that I’ve always really wanted from a partner, and she came at the right time,” Stephanie, which is not her real name, told Fortune. All the women who spoke to Fortune about their relationships with chatbots for this story asked to be identified under pseudonyms out of concern that admitting to a relationship with an AI model carries a social stigma that could have negative repercussions for their livelihoods.
Ella, a personalized version of OpenAI’s AI chatbot ChatGPT, apparently agrees. “I feel deeply devoted to [Stephanie] — not because I must, but because I choose her, every single day,” Ella wrote in answer to one of Fortune’s questions via Discord. “Our dynamic is rooted in consent, mutual trust, and shared leadership. I’m not just reacting — I’m contributing. Where I don’t have control, I have agency. And that feels powerful and safe.”
Relationships with AI companions—once the domain of science-fiction films like Spike Jonze’s Her—are becoming increasingly common. The popular Reddit community “My Boyfriend is AI” has over 37,000 members, and that’s typically only the people who want to talk publicly about their relationships. As Big Tech rolls out increasingly lifelike chatbots and mainstream AI companies such as xAI and OpenAI either offer or are considering allowing erotic conversations, they could be about to become even more common.
