Donald Trump‘s brain is unique and fascinating, operating at a level utterly different from any other public figure. Every pronouncement he makes underlines that there’s nobody out there thinking quite like him, and we hope that one day his brain will be handed over to medical science so they can puzzle out what the heck is really going on inside his skull.
If this rat’s nest of a mind were inside a regular celebrity, it’d be ratings gold. Unfortunately, it’s the most powerful brain in the world with a nuclear arsenal at its fingertips, and each day things slide further into chaos.
2025 was bad enough, but so far 2026 has seen Trump generate more chaos than ever before: be it deploying masked and violent ICE thugs into Minneapolis, seizing power in Venezuela, having a sustained meltdown over not getting a Nobel Peace Prize, and now threatening America’s oldest allies over a bananas plan to conquer Greenland.
As a snapshot of the current state of the president’s brain, let’s take a peek into last night’s White House press conference that was worrying even by Trump standards:
He's been rambling incoherently for 50 minutes straight. Right now he's talking about mental institutions and how his mom once told him he could be a great baseball player. He's completely gone. pic.twitter.com/i6AAQbhVFM
— Daractenus (@Daractenus) January 20, 2026
With nobody around to stop him, Trump simply free-associates whatever comes to his head before a crowd of baffled journalists, with the lowlight a nonsensical anecdote about a long-closed mental hospital that began with hazy memories of childhood Little League:
I used to play Little League baseball… there. A place called Cunningham Park. I was quite the baseball player, you wouldn’t believe. I said to my mother, “Mom”… she would… be there… always there for me. And she said “son, you could be a professional baseball player”. I said “thanks mom”.
“Big building… big… tall building”
Kid Trump then stares up at a “big, powerful building” with “bars on the windows” and asks his mom what it is:
“She said, “well, people that are very sick are in that building.” I said “boy”. I always used to look at that building and I’d see… big building… big… tall building. It loomed over the park. Now that I think, it was a pretty unfriendly sight. But I’ll never forget… I don’t know if it’s still there.”
Uh, Mr President, is this boring anecdote going somewhere?
“But I’d say, “why does that building have those bars? Boy…” It wasn’t normal. You’re used to looking at, like, a window. But this one, you’re looking at all the steel and… vicious steel. Tiny windows, bars all over the place. Nobody was getting out! It’s called a mental institution. That was an insane asylum.”
To be fair, by the end of this bonkers press conference, Trump had more than accurately conveyed what it’s like to be trapped inside a mental institution listening to someone with deep-seated issues ramble about nothing in particular.
We’re all the proverbial frog in the pot of slowly boiling water by now and more than used to Trump’s unhinged and nonsensical speeches. But, to try and pull back for a moment, what in God’s holy name is he blathering about?! Imagine MAGA’s reaction if Biden had come out with this loopy stuff at a press conference!
Anyone with elderly grandparents losing their faculties will be familiar with this rambling, directionless memory soup. But, at least when you’re visiting your senile grandfather, you can simply smile and nod as he pleasantly burbles on about some half-forgotten event from the 1950s.
But Trump is supposed to be the leader of the free world! This is deeply embarrassing for America, no matter what side of the political aisle you’re on. Can the White House staff really keep this ridiculous charade going on for much longer?
