When I was a child, my sister and I would treat ourselves on school holidays. We’d walk to the shops and buy a cheap milk bar treat before heading to Video Ezy to rent a stack of movies. Decades later, Video Ezy and its later peers DVD Destination and Blockbuster are no longer high street staples, but this version of treat is still going strong for me. While I’ve matured beyond the need to rent Scream for a sixth time, a snack and film is my go-to for a night in (who can afford to go out?).
Sluggish wage growth, soaring rents and increases to the cost of living mean many adults feel like they’re living as they did in their broke uni student days, existing off beans and rice and putting money aside for the occasional indulgence (having a drink at the pub). But I feel more like a little kid: counting each dollar like I once did my allowance or, once I turned 14, the meagre pay from an after-school job. While budgeting and saving felt exciting as a child, it now feels impossible. If I spend $4 at the milk bar, I mainly feel guilty.
When you’re a low-income earner, you feel guilt constantly. Guilt for running a bath (water bills!), guilt for taking the bus (walking could have saved you $6!), guilt for meeting a friend for coffee (lying down in the dark and crying is free!). I mentally categorise healthcare appointments and prescription medicine as “luxuries” because after rent and bills that’s where my income goes. A little voice in my head sneers, Oh, you want to see the doctor, do you? Well la di da, Miss Fancy! Why don’t you just wear a gown made of solid gold?
The fun thing about guilt, which fellow low-income earners will attest to, is that choices we make often involve weighing up which flavour of guilt we’ll feel. If I do go to the specialist appointment, I’ll feel guilty for spending hundreds of dollars that eat into other expenses. If I don’t, I’ll feel guilty for not treating health issues that prevent me from working full-time. I’m lucky to even make that choice when many can’t, so there’s another heaping of guilt. Add a sprinkle of childhood Catholicism and, baby, you’ve got a guilt stew going! Thankfully, stews are recommended for a cheap bulk meal, as I so often read in money-savings tips written by experts.
The thing is, everyone becomes a financial expert when the topic of money arises. A lot of budgeting advice assumes you earn a decent wage, have disposable income and are a thoughtless spender when in reality every dollar is budgeted and calculated for. If you just cancel the streaming service you have because you can’t afford to go out for entertainment, at the end of a year, you could afford a monthly electricity bill! If you shop at different grocery stores because of price-gouging from major supermarkets, you’ll have no free time for other errands or socialising but you won’t notice because you’ve spent all day on the bus travelling to various food markets and getting stuck in a middle-aisle brawl at Aldi. Win-win!
There doesn’t seem to be any immediate relief in sight, especially for the 1.1 million people desperately waiting for Centrelink payments, more than 60,000 applications for public housing or parents calculating their income against childcare costs.
All we can do is keep counting our dollars and try not to feel guilty for buying a $4 treat and watching Scream for a sixth time. Why not – I may as well fully revisit my childhood while I’m here.
• Deirdre Fidge is a writer and social worker who has written for ABC’s Get Krack!n and The Weekly with Charlie Pickering, and the BBC. Her work has appeared in ABC News, SBS, the Sydney Morning Herald and Frankie magazine
