More than half of lesbian and gay parents have faced negative comments about their families, new research has found, with 48 per cent fearing their child will be bullied at school.
A report by Just Like Us found that more than a third of lesbian and gay parents have been asked invasive questions such as “strangers asking about my child’s sperm donor”, with this number increasing to 39 per cent for lesbian mums.
The charity surveyed 1,012 parents across the country and also found that 42 per cent of children have experienced remarks about having LGBT+ parents.
Amy Ashenden, director of communications and engagement at Just Like Us, said: “As a LGBT+ parent, compiling this report has been far from reassuring. Some of the findings are harrowing. There is clearly so much work to be done to help schools and nurseries understand the huge impact that an inclusive – or unaccepting – school environment can have on LGBT+ families.
“My baby is only 10 months old but I’m already worried about what negativity she and our family might face when she starts nursery and school in the future. It’s an anxiety that many of us share as LGBT+ parents.”
One pansexual mum said she was worried about her children going to secondary school after experiencing negative comments during their time in primary school.
Shelley, who did not feel comfortable sharing her full name, said: “My partner and I are two pansexual mums of a 6-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl. When our daughter was in reception, we had many negative comments, mainly from school staff.”
She described one incident in which her wife had been told to drop something off at their child’s school but she hadn’t had the chance to tell her before she picked them up.
She said: “When I said I didn’t know what they meant as I hadn’t spoken to my wife, I got “well you’re two women so pretty much the same person anyway. What does it matter?”
Another incident saw her child be told by a teacher that “It’s not that you don’t understand, you just can’t be bothered. That’s what you get for having two mums,” when she asked for help with some work in year one.
Shelley added that older school pupils have even come to her family home shouting homophobic abuse and put a newspaper on fire through their letterbox.
She added:“We do worry but try to put it to the backs of our minds because we don’t want our children to pick up on it. I’m worried about when my children go to secondary school, I don’t want them to be bullied for having same-sex parents.”
The parent said she wished schools would talk more openly about same-sex parents in a more casual manner of representation so it becomes the norm.
According to the new research one in 10 LGBT+ parents report feeling “let down by my child’s school not being LGBT+ inclusive”.
A third of all LGBT+ parents say their school refers to families as “mums and dads” as the default, while only one in five say their school would “openly discuss LGBT+ families with pupils”.
A quarter of lesbian and gay parents say their children have felt ‘upset or hurt by negative comments at school about LGBT+ people’. In addition to this, a quarter 24 per cent say their children have been ‘left out of social arrangements seemingly because they are from a LGBT+ family’.
27 per cent of lesbian and gay parents have also reported being left out parental social arrangements seemingly because they are LGBT+.
This number rises to 41 per cent for transgender parents. A third of transgender parents also say they have heard negative comments about trans people at school. One in 10 trans parents have decided to homeschool their children “to avoid anti-LGBT+ prejudice”.
Even parents with positive experiences at their children’s school have reported anxieties about bullying.
Overall, LGBT+ parents reported a widespread lack of inclusion in schools across the UK, with 15 per cent say they have been treated differently by their child’s school because of their identity.
The new independent research has been released during School Diversity Week beginning on June 24.
