In the Western world, most brides wear white. Sure, some newlyweds choose to have a more alternative wedding where the bride doesn’t necessarily wear white or a dress, but it’s still the classic. In Eastern cultures, such as Chinese and Indian cultures, brides wear red. The color represents good fortune and luck.
Such cultural differences caused some drama at this wedding. The groom’s stepsister, who arrived from Pakistan, wasn’t aware of the Western tradition. Much to the dismay of the bride, she wore a white dress. Feeling like she was getting upstaged, the bride asked the groom to remove his stepsister from the party. But he wasn’t sure that was appropriate, so he decided to consult with the Internet, even if after the fact.
Many brides in Western culture would consider a guest wearing white rude
Image credits: Felix Young (Not the actual photo)
A stepsister wearing white caused some drama at this wedding
Image credits: Luis Tosta (Not the actual photo)
Image credits: Specific-Crew4608
The groom clarified that his mom and stepsister lived in Pakistan
When attending a wedding of a different culture, people should educate themselves
Navigating cultural differences can be difficult in many contexts, and weddings are just one of many. I know if I were to attend an Indian wedding, I wouldn’t have any idea what’s appropriate and what’s not attire-wise. The same goes for Western weddings: just because many traditions are a given to some doesn’t mean that everyone else knows them.
So reading up on different wedding traditions or asking around is crucial if you want to avoid a faux pas at someone else’s wedding. Out of respect for the couple, it’s also important to know the “why” behind certain traditions. Educating yourself on the reasons behind them and their significance can enhance your experience, but it also shows respect for the couple.
It makes sense the stepsister might not have known that wearing white to a Western wedding is a no-no. In Pakistani weddings, the bride wears red, and guests wearing white or black is perfectly acceptable. However, Pakistani wedding attire tends to be very colorful and vibrant, and dresses are usually heavily embellished. Still, experts advise avoiding wearing shades of red, as they are usually reserved for the bride.
Image credits: Rocsana Nicoleta Gurza (Not the actual photo)
In Western cultures, wearing white to a wedding might upstage the bride
Historically, wearing a white dress to your wedding was a custom started by Queen Victoria in 1840. The queen’s biographer, Julia Baird, writes, “Victoria had chosen to wear white mostly because it was the perfect color to highlight the delicate lace.” Another tradition that followed even to this day is that no other guests wear white; Victoria supposedly asked “that no one else wear white to the wedding” as well.
Even today, wedding etiquette experts say that it’s not okay to don a white dress if you’re a mere guest. “When you’re a guest at a wedding, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upstage or upset the bride,” wedding dress designer Madeline Gardner told The Knot. “It’s safe to stay away from any outfits that are predominantly white, cream or ivory.”
The same goes for men unless it’s specified otherwise in the invitation. If it’s a hot summer day and wearing a black suit sounds like a nightmare, there are always colors like grey, tan, or khaki. A white shirt under a blazer or tuxedo doesn’t count, as it is perfectly acceptable to wear.
Guests can wear white to a wedding in some cases. That is usually mentioned in the invitation, and most times, all guests will be asked to wear white. If not, it’s best to steer away from any white-adjacent outfits. In some cases, even shoes. The general rule of thumb is: if you’re questioning whether there’s too much white in your outfit, there probably is. Go for colors, pastel or vibrant, and save yourself the headache.
Image credits: Trung Nguyen (Not the actual photo)
If someone wears white to your wedding, either be discreet about it or let it go
If someone were to show up to your wedding sporting a white dress, it’d probably make you mad. The bride’s reaction in this story is understandable, as it might be hard to control your emotions in the moment. But what do etiquette experts have to say about how to handle someone’s faux pas at your wedding?
Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts told Brides that there are three ways to deal with it: politely letting them know about their error, staying calm and collected, or just ignoring it and enjoying the festivities.
“Avoid creating a scene which will only make a public spectacle of you,” the etiquette expert explained. “If a guest doesn’t have enough sense to know not to compete with the bride, it will be clear to the other guests. It’s simply not done unless a guest wants to draw attention to themselves.”
At the end of the day, a mishap with one guest shouldn’t ruin the big day for the bride or the groom. It’s about picking your battles, knowing what truly matters and what doesn’t. “Don’t let a minor wardrobe mishap overshadow your day,” Grotts emphasized.
Image credits: Leah Newhouse (Not the actual photo)
Many people didn’t see why the groom couldn’t confront his stepsister and called him a jerk
Others thought people just needed to communicate properly in this sitcom-level misunderstanding
