When you plan a wedding, you usually want to set a date that doesn't conflict with any major life events that your loved ones might have, as it could lead to them not turning up as they have other obligations. But one man has been left furious after his friend told him that she already had plans on the day he's looking to get married - as it'll be her wedding day too.
The man, from the US, explained that he's been living in Europe with his fiancée since 2019, and they will officially get married in their current home country in April next year, before travelling to the US for a second ceremony in September. But it just so happens that the date of the US wedding clashes with the date his friend is planning to have her ceremony.
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While the groom-to-be has asked his friend to consider moving the date, he's now worried that if she refuses, his old friends from the US would have to choose which wedding to attend - and would likely choose her's, since he has barely seen them since moving to Europe.
In a post on Reddit, he claimed: "I met my fiancée in 2014 and we've lived in Europe since 2019 after a five-year long distance relationship. We're getting married in April in Europe, but also having a wedding in September in the US. My mum booked a venue months ago so we're committed to our date.
"I've only visited the US twice since 2019 but we're going again soon. My US friends don't know we’re engaged yet, and I want to tell them each in person and invite them to our US wedding. One friend, Amy, got engaged last year. We met in 2014 and were in a group of friends during university, all of whom I still consider my friends.
"I wrote them each recently to arrange plans in the US. Amy said she won't be around, so I asked her if she had a date for her wedding yet. She laughed, saying no and they're not in a rush, but are thinking of 'probably' having it in September. I said they shouldn't have it on the 17th, because we're having our wedding that day and want to invite the whole uni group.
"Amy said, what a coincidence, they got engaged that day, so she'd keep it in mind but she's 'unsure' about it. This took me by surprise so I just said that's understandable and we'd see.
"I thought about this for days. If Amy booked the same day, the rest of our group would have to decide between weddings, and we couldn’t attend each other’s either. My sinking feeling was they’d all choose hers since I'm the one who's far away now."
The man said he "hesitantly" wrote back to Amy asking her again not to get married on the same date as his US wedding - but was met with anger when his friend told him it was unfair to ask her to move her wedding.
He was then told that he wouldn't be invited to her wedding regardless, as she only wants to invite "close friends", which she doesn't consider him as since he moved away.
He added: "Amy replied, saying 'I won’t change our planned wedding date.' She pointed out how we're having two weddings but for them, this is 'a once in a lifetime occasion'. She said asking her to change her date is 'really selfish' and it doesn't make sense for them not to get married on their 'special day'. She added that she won’t plan her date around my availability.
"I apologised if I came off as selfish, but said wanting my friends at my wedding and wanting to attend theirs isn't selfish. I told Amy I wasn't trying to get her to change her wedding date when she told me she had no date. I added that I didn't appreciate her disregard for our wedding - it'll be no less special than hers.
"Amy replied that I 'chose to move away' and she's only seen me once since 2019, so she 'doesn’t consider me a part of the group anymore'. She added that I assumed I would be invited to her wedding and she only 'wanted to remain polite'.
"She concluded by saying she would 'never in her life ask someone to reschedule their wedding,' and that she's sticking to her date and only inviting her closest friends."
Commenters on the post were largely on Amy's side, with many saying the man should have told his friends about his wedding as soon as he knew what date he would be having his US wedding.
One person said: "While the chance was small, you should have sent a save the date stuff out as soon as the venue was booked. Not kept everything basically a secret and then dictate when someone can or cannot do something because you took it slow with your second wedding."
While another added: "While it was appropriate to tell her that she might be booking on the same date, you do not own the date! Plus you are not having a wedding, you will already be married. You are having a reception."
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