Grieving families have said they feel sickened after their local authority asked them to remove memorials from the headstones of loved ones. It is the second time Merthyr Tydfil council has made the devastating order at its crematoriums across the borough, after a U-turn in August 2021.
According to the families, they have three weeks to remove borders and any decorations not on the headstones themselves, otherwise council workers will do it for them. Marcus Braithwaite, 43, and his sister Claire Braithwaite, 48, have been grieving the loss of their mother Janet Braithwaite, along with their siblings Darren, David and Kim. Janet died at hospital in August 2020 aged 70, leaving the close-knit family heartbroken.
Marcus and Claire said they all regularly visit her plot at Pant cemetery in Merthyr Tydfil and keep it decorated with flowers and an iron border in her memory. However, they said they have since been ordered to dismember the memorial within three weeks, or face council workers doing it instead. It is understood the new rule affects all cremation plots in the borough but not burial plots. A council spokesman said the decision was made to protect public safety.
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In August 2021, WalesOnline reported how Merthyr Tydfil previously ordered families to remove borders from the plots of loved ones. However, the decision was U-turned before relieved families were told they would need to remove their memorials months later after all. Marcus said he found out the news on Mother's Day and that it was having a major impact on his mental health.
He said: "It wasn't conveyed to me in my deed [that this might happen]. They just decided on a blanket ban and we've been told to rip them up. I felt sick when I heard it, it's unbelievable. We've left enough room for people to pass, and to be told then that you're not allowed to have a plot on top of it..."
Claire said it was particularly hard for the family after been told less than a year ago that they would be able to keep their memorials. She said: "We were affected by it last year. We had a letter saying we had to remove everything and then we had another letter saying to ignore it and that everything was fine as it was. This was in August.
"We went up there on Mother's Day (Sunday, March 27) and someone told us we would need to take it apart. We rang the council up on Monday and it was confirmed that every cremation spot had to take all their ornaments and fencing off. Obviously we are upset. It's not about the money, but it cost just under £1000 for the iron around it and to maintain it and keep it clean and tidy. It's cemented into the ground and has no movement on it - there is no obstruction in any way."
She said it was heartbreaking to think that her mother would soon be without a memorial. "It would be heartbreaking to have to dismantle it," Claire said. "We've got a brother who was born with brain damage (51-year-old Darren). That's the place he goes to visit her. For him to see that now taken all apart, it's going to be hard for him.
"She was hell of a character and very generous. She was a single mother to five children and cared for our disabled brother with brain damage until her death. She was a very liked woman. It's heartbreaking to think we laid her to rest, we thought everything was okay and then this happens."
The council spokesman confirmed that memorials on graves at its cemeteries would not be affected. Claire said it was painful to have to pass the beautifully decorated graves to get to the crematorium knowing her mother's memorial would soon be gone.
Similarly, Nicola Edwards, 56, from Merthyr Tydfil has been grieving the loss of her brother, Bryan Sheppard, and mother, Sandra Williams, over the last two years. Her 59-year-old brother died in June 2020 after testing positive for coronavirus and, heartbreakingly, her 74-year-old mother died just six months later in December following a brain haemorrhage. Sandra's plot at Pant cemetery sits just in front of Bryan's.
She too received a letter from Merthyr council in August 2021 asking her to remove the borders, but was relieved when the decision was U-turned. Less than a year on, and Nicola said she has been told to remove her memorials for the second time - which she and her family have already done.
Nicola said she was "disgusted" to have to go through the heartache for a second time and that the emotional impact on her elderly father, Melvin, had been devastating. "We had to dismantle all of the surrounds, pick all the stones up and pick all the flowers up. It's been a terrible few weeks.
"We are devastated. Because we've had to take it all up, my mother is having no peace. We can't put flowers out because there is nowhere to put flowers, so it's literally only a headstone. It's full of mud."
A spokesman for Merthyr Tydfil council said: "Following a review of the situation concerning surrounds at Garden of Rest areas, a full assessment of the scale of the problem has been undertaken. The assessment found that temporary fences, chippings and other similar items on the lawn areas in front of Garden of Rest (cremation) headstones are preventing free and easy access to other graves along the rows and are creating a trip hazard.
"We have also received complaints to this effect from cemetery users. In light of this and in the interest of public safety, all unauthorised surrounds/items must be removed from Garden of Rest areas. Please note this does not apply to standard coffin burial plots.
"We appreciate that some families wish to adorn the grave areas of their loved ones, therefore pots are permitted on the memorial base, providing they do not cause any obstruction." To get the latest news from Merthyr Tydfil straight into your inbox, click here to subscribe to our newsletter.
